…uninspired, shitty production with Ken Rice.

January 24, 2009

I joined the Steelers Rally from Heinz Field already in progress when something billed as “Rusty Drake and 12th Man” strutted to the stage. A typical, cheesy, new Pa, run-of-the-mill faux redneck rolls out; a shitty country music recording starts to play. The audio immediately dumps out and Rusty says, “Whoa, I can’t hear…” as the music level again rises and dropout to a nearly inperceptable volume at home, Rusty says low and fast, “I-can’t-hear-myself… GO STEELERS! YEAH!” and the crowd starts to cheer.

He cannot sing; he sounds similar to those recordings that audio engineers have leaked of Marc Anthony and Britney Spears live performances – what they really sound like. A camera pans to what probably is an entire section. Once the hundreds of fans see themselves on the Jumbotron, they come alive, cheering and waving Terrible Towels. It’s really the only Pep that Rusty Nut manages to Rally.

Why didn’t KDKA (the local CBS affiliate) use real Pittsburgh bands? There are a ton of great local acts who would love to play, and probably even write, awesome fight songs. See, Pittsburgh is weird like that. It is the only place that I have ever been where an NFL team is beloved by everyone. Gay people love them. Punk Rockers love them. Retarded people love them. Even some of the Indians I work with rabidly follow them. We should have the greatest Pep Rally ever.

This spectacle ends and camera 4 turns to a huge video screen from a point of view placing the viewer at home in the stands. Why wouldn’t they just do this straight from the board with perfect video, audio and the crowd noise underneath? None of that really mattered once the music started playing; Renegade by Stix over a clip show of this seasons highlights. There is only one real highlight: loop the Clark hit on McGahee and play it over Don Cab’s “No More Peace and Quiet for the Warlike”. Do this shit Mohammad Ali style and have the opponent expect defeat.

I was a little surprised when Farrior didn’t realize that he helped win the one for the thumb in 2006. But the most annoying aspect was the shoot. It looked like you were watching it from the crowd like 20 rows back. Resurrect the ghost of Leni Riefenstahl – I’d like to see Charlie Daniels performing ‘In America’ as the highlight of the rally. With all of the Steelers there on the Roman ruins set that Barack used to accept the Democratic nomination in Denver with lots of banners like the Young Jeezy ‘My President is Black’ video. Make this one for the ages. Or at least next Christmas.

Why no tight shoots on the speakers? Why no crane overheads of the crowds? Yet another amateurish, second rate, Pittsburgh produced joint. Rusty, Stix and an uninspired, shitty production with Ken Rice. Ken fucking Rice.

Go Steelers.

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