…take all of this ‘crisis’ talk with a grain of salt.

February 7, 2009

THE End is near! If I had a dime for every time someone was so cocksure that humanity was at the event horizon of doom, I’d be zooted in my basement free of any fiscal worries. I’m not.

I used to watch In Search Of with baited breath. It was hosted by Spock from the original Star Trek. Weekly episodes were usually dedicated to ghosts, Big Foot, UFOs and Time Travel. But some episodes were about the latest Doom sayer and their dire predictions. From the coming population bomb that would lead to starvation on an unimaginable scale to the coming ice age that would result in the destruction of all crops. Silly child I was would get all freaked out, laying awake nights worrying about these impending ends. The population bomb never went off and talk of the new ice age stopped once we had a handful of super mild winters in the early 80’s. Conspiracy theorists started to go mainstream in the mid 80’s, latched on to by the John Birchers and humanitys demise took a more familiar turn. An evil Cabal of the Illuminati, Trilateral Commission and Bilderberg Group planing for a One World Government that would enslave us all. As this began to build steam accounts of alien abductions also came into the shared consciousness. In 1991, the late William Cooper’s Behold A Pale Horse was published and he pretty much tied all of the previous conspiracies back to the Illuminati. I am not sure if you remember all of the hype at the end of the last century around UFOs and the end time. The new boggy man was 12 Midnight on January 1, 2000. People gathered their generators; they stored MREs and horded bullets. And they waited. Nothing happened and a lot of the shit turned up at flea markets throughout the new year, deeply discounted.

ALL that being said – I don’t completely discount the NWO stuff. It isn’t hard to imagine that the world scene is run by a few different groups and that it looks a little bit like Survivor albeit with much higher stakes. The emperors new clothes are the worthless pieces of paper and exotic financial instruments; over priced commodities and worthless junk that mark a consumer culture. Houses were overvalued and they tanked. Gas was never really worth 4 USD a gallon and so it also came back to a more reasonable level (although I have this strange gut feeling that it is still 20% higher than it is really worth); I’m sold on that. I don’t think the Alex Jones’ of the world or the regular, middle-of-the-road folks out there would disagree with my assertions. And that is why I find a particular type of commercial that has seen a marked increase on fringe and right-wing radio so amusing. They play it on the local right-wing radio shows, on syndicated shows like Limbaugh and Beck and nearly every few seconds as you start down the shadowy side of the right-wing, like Savage and Jones.

Gold investment. Not all of these commercials are the same. Some groups want you to invest in gold coins that they hold and others will actually sell you physical gold. My question is this – if there is no food on the shelves of grocery stores; if the military is fighting people in the street, trying to take them to FEMA internment camps, if you have to shot people to protect your food stores. If society completely breaks down to the point that there are no services; no running water no stores and no commerce – tell me – what the fuck are you going to do with a gold coin, or better yet, a piece of paper that says you have a bunch of gold somewhere? If society shits the bed, there won’t be any currency! Only food, water and shelter. You can’t eat gold and so it becomes just another worthless commodity, like a cell phone that no longer has a network or a Franklin Planner when you have no appointments because your job no longer exists.

That’s precisely why I take all of this ‘crisis’ talk with a grain of salt. Whose crisis is this anyway? People that own stock and expect to retire? I’ve been telling coworkers for years that our generation is not going to be able to retire. Anyone between the ages of 25 and 55 is what keeps this house of cards standing. That oxygen tank towing, cigar toking, Cadillac driving unmensch with hats on the rear deck that is going to fuck up your commute on Monday – yeah that guy; you’re paying for him. Someone has to pay for his golf trips to Myrtle. And that fucking dummy in the White House, with all of his hope and change who was sitting around last night with Tits Pelosi and Harry Reed eating shrimp and drinking champaign talking about all of the bullshit that they can throw into this stimulus plan, you know, the one that he was talking about that just has to pass or we’ll never recover. You paid for that shrimp, the Dom, the wait staff and the nice linens. Just like the bailout bill righted everything. We had to pass that to right the economy that is worse now than it was before. Whenever I criticize ChangeMaster I always get the lame, “He’s better than Bush; better than McCain!” No, he really isn’t. When you think that way, you’ve accepted the lesser of two evils, and that hasn’t worked out in the past 20 years, has it? They are all equals; equally worthless. Did you see McCain on the Senate floor the other night?! I think he was criticizing the pork in the stimulus bill but with all of the pauses, re directs, stammering and shuddering, he may have been bitching about the warm, wet feeling in the seat of his pants and that weird smell.

One thing is certain.

I’ll be sitting here on December 22nd, 2012 pumping out another cathartic bitch blog.

Advertisements

2 Responses to “…take all of this ‘crisis’ talk with a grain of salt.”


  1. Hell yeah! Everyone just seems to still wanna blame Bush for everything. This has to pass. Hopefully, within the next year, the blame will shift to exactly where it belongs…the Democrat Party. Did you hear the latest thing to come out of Pelosi’s mouth? And I quote, “Every month that goes by with out a stimulus package, 500 million Americans will lose their jobs.” 500 million??? I thought that our population, in toto, was around 300 million, and our actual workforce was somewhere in the neighborhood of 140 million. I can’t believe this broad is two steps away from being President. Add to this her brilliant plan to stimulate the economy by promoting contraception and abortion, because fewer people would reduce the burdens on our welfare system, and I can’t even figure out how she keeps getting re-elected. Is this really how people in San Francisco feel? Is she actually representing the people of her district, and not just a crazy rogue, like I believe her to be?

    As for retirement, I still believe that I will be able to retire. I have my own retirement plan. I don’t rely on the government for anything I’m supposed to be able to do myself. I expect them to provide a strong military to keep us safe, and to print our money, and that’s about it. I am a bartender, and on paper, have qualified for welfare, for over 8 years, now. I don’t take it, because I don’t need it. My wife and I didn’t take WIC because she has health insurance, and we make enough money to afford our new baby, and our house. I’m not bragging, I’m just saying that there’s a lot of people who abuse our systems designed to help the needy. I am trying to do my part to stem the tide. It really makes me angry, when I see my tax dollars used to provide housing or food to someone I see walking around with an iPhone or driving an Escalade. I’m going off on a tangent, here. Sorry.

  2. Chris Says:

    Though I don’t want to feel the crisis is as dire as we are led to believe, I am more and more tempering this doubt with the reality that it just may be.

    For the first time in 13 years with my company (which has been successful for those 13 years) is beginning to lay people off. This has never happened before.

    Now, this is just one company of 400+ employees. How many others are there? Logic says that with more and more layoffs coming country wide, the forclosure rate will continue to increase and things will get worse.

    Economically, I am very conservative. I hope beyond all hope that this stimulus bill will eventually include the tax cuts that will stimulate the economy, and lose most of the BS pork that has been proposed thus far. I am almost glad that Obama is faced with this since he will have to move to the proverbial “middle”, economically, otherwise i feel that we may be in trouble.

    Hoping “they” know more than I think, I guess.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: