The Jailbird and the Dirty Bird

February 1, 2012

INVICTA, I mean Imperious, is headed back to ShopNBC on February 14th with an “upgraded” version of the X-Wing and Man-O-War. The Gearhead and Jailbait Jailbreak are nowhere in sight. While there was much speculation that Ustream host Jim Skelton was the man behind Imperious, you have to wonder if those two ‘game changing’ and ‘class dominating’ designs that are not updated or appearing could be Skelton’s only contribution to the brand.

If you ask me that X-Wing looks a lot like the redesigned Bolt Zeus which, according to some sources, seems to have tanked.

The show on Valentine’s Day will also be the premier of a new face for Invicta Imperious, former Atlanta Falcon Jamal “Dirty Bird” Anderson. He’s been hired as the Brand Ambassador which is odd that he’s presenting. And I thought most BAs were still active in their respective specialties?

Anderson’s debut on ShopNBC marks the three year anniversary of his arrest for felony cocaine possession and a misdemeanor marijuana charge. It has also been revealed that the Georgia Department of Revenue is claiming he owes $102,797.06 for the 2007 tax year.

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One can only imagine the stories that Anderson and Davis can swap at the company pot luck. The Jailbird and the Dirty Bird… You just can’t make this stuff up.

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9 Responses to “The Jailbird and the Dirty Bird”

  1. Lunchb0x48 Says:

    Skelly was clowning the new designs when they were released. While the designs are shitty IMO they at least used to use Superluminova and shaphire crystals, with the new release they get Tritnite and flame fusion crystals. The also get the movement of the month from Ronda.

  2. Badgeek Says:

    More funny shit from my favorite clown watch company. But the minions will eat this shit right up….open up wide minions…papa elore has got a nice big spoon full of his special corn and peanut pudding.. especially for you. Bon appetito.. yo

  3. jr Says:

    Sam Hurd will be on “Shop” after he gets out of prison

  4. koimaster Says:

    Invicta/imperious whatever will be purchased by fools who think they are being fashion forward and are collectors. Fake watches made by fake Swiss Invicta factories and sold by fake navy SEALS.

  5. krane11367 Says:

    I’d say this all was amazing, but it’s not the least surprising – only the inclusion of the football player spokesman breaks tradition. Is there any coterie of people on this mortal coil more willing to be made fools of than Watch Geeks, Invicta Addicts on Facebook, and ShopNBC watch fans? Just listen to the “callers” on the live presentations; you can actually hear these people mutate as they talk. In a way, it’s quite astounding what Invicta and ShopNBC have done: They’ve taken cheaply thrown-together fashion watches and convinced a sizable segment of the common clay that they’re “Reserve” “collectible” “timepieces” when in fact they are the most overpriced, poorest quality Chinese-made watches outside of the ones sold at bodegas and barber shops. “Swiss Made,” Invicta? Prove it. Oh wait, that’s right – they don’t have to. R129903 told me they don’t have to.

  6. Anonymous Says:

    As long as Anderson and Davis aren’t working together I guess they aren’t breaking the felon law. If I see these 2 douchebags on the air together I’ll be the first one calling the Feds.

  7. Mike Fucking Davis Says:

    If anybody caught me and the lovely beauty and brains last night on the shop I apologize for the look on my face cause I was rubbing one out under the desk to that sultry seductive boner popping dazzling host Heather Hall, with her hair down she’s even creaminer and dreamier in person, and my fecal breath was under control for 87% of the night, I hope she didn’t smell the putrid gunk on my toof.

    If I live to be 50 I have to say my johnson was at full attention last night, and my Invicta balls were swollen with old man semen.

    I wanted to release my tainted protein on her flawless face, watch as my juices drip down her chin as she screams “Ohh Mike, I love old man cock”

    I must concentrate, stop thinking about her sitting on my wrinkled mug, her lapping my walnuts, her moist box, she smells like strawberry shortcakes older sister, must..must concentrate to sell Invictas.

  8. Mike Fucking Davis Says:

    Sorry to all of my fans, all 13 of you!

    I was caught Porky’s style masturbating in the now ShopHq women’s bathroom. I thought I saw Miss Hall in there taking a shit, and I wanted to know what she had for dinner.

    I am completely wrong for my actions, please folks understand that I usually don’t jerk off like this, I prefer a jail cell.

    Once my elderly nostrils caught a whiff of her stool my shriveled smegma laden pecker went bonkers!

    Fellow watch enthusiasts, please allow it in your farts, errrr I mean hearts to forgive an old sailor like me.

  9. Bunny Bleu Says:

    you know somthin mike fucking davis u are vulgar and vile poster. i personally think what you wrote about people u dont even know or ever met is so disgustin u must be a child. u need a life buddy.


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