2012 in review

December 30, 2012

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

4,329 films were submitted to the 2012 Cannes Film Festival. This blog had 39,000 views in 2012. If each view were a film, this blog would power 9 Film Festivals

Click here to see the complete report.

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IN a marketing move that seems to have fallen flat, the Invicta Watch Company created a rig with cameras to be slung under a weather ballon and launched it. The result: they could have achieved the same result at the local, Hollywood Florida Olan Mills.

I’m not sure exactly what the expectation was other than attempting, all be it way too belatedly, to ride the coat tails of the Felix Baumgartner record breaking jump that occurred back in October.

Details are lacking on the Invicta news page which is interesting because one would think Invicta would be milking this for all that it’s worth, I mean as much as sending watches up on a weather ballon can be milked. Of the 36 timepieces sent up, only pictures of three have been released by Eyal Lalo. Might the others be suffering from failing movements? Might hands be falling off on the edge of space as they appear to do here on Earth? Surely if the images and the high speed video that is promised do not show up, the conspiracy theories will follow.

One suspects that these timepieces will probably be sold at a premium with an official certificate of authenticity that they have been on the edge of space, along with t-shirts and other products.

The public is speaking and not very favorably:

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WHILE attempting to figure out who will be producing Jim Skelton’s yet to be launched watch brand, I can across some brand new Invicta trademarks.

As if the Sea Hunter, Sea Spider, Sea Thunder, Sea Excursion and Sea Wizard wasn’t enough ocean inspired insipidness, welcome yet another dive inspired fashion watch family: the Sea Bird. As this is only a name in that same, tired serif font, there are no designs to yet share.

Might I suggest the Sea Men as the next in this fine lineage?

I wonder if Eyal actually pays for someone to come up with this shit or if it gives his wife something to do? I mean whose bright idea is “JT FOR INVICTA, TOWER OF STRENGTH” – what does that even represent? They apparently plan to make key chains, jewelry, watch boxes and cases with this branding.

WE also can see that Invicta appears to be diversifying with an interesting application for the trademark PowerPatch which covers a range of potential products that including battery packs for handheld electronics,I’d assume smart phones, stands and cases. This move sort of makes sense as they’ll now be able to sell all of their most rabid fans phone cases that match their favorite watches. Okay, that sounded a lot better when it was just a thought rolling around in my head. Reading it out loud and it sounds pretty goddamned dumb – but hey Invictard reality is not like mine so what do I know.

BUT what I find really intriguing is the trademarking of two different sets of map coordinates. So I pasted them into Google Maps.

The first, 47.1070N, 6.8246E, resolves to an apparent paper street and set of stairs near a Swiss address, Rue de Beauregard 7, 2300 La Chaux-de-Fonds, Switzerland.

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I have been unable to determine what is at the address in question but I wonder if this might be an office of the company.

THE second trademark is 26.0280N, 80.1698W. This resolves to Invicta World Headquarters in Hollywood Florida:

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Why in the world would Invicta trademark map locations?

IT has been widely speculated that Jim Skelton has some connection to the Imperious watch brand which, after many denials, was revealed to be a trademark of Invicta.

Part of what fueled the Skelton / Imperious connection were comments by Skelton himself regarding his design of watches, as well as his constant admonishment of people wanting to know who designed such ground breaking pieces as the X-Wing and Jailbreak. I remember him finally getting fed up with people hinting at his involvement on WGs and he said something to the affect of “…do you know who the designer of the Speedway? Does it matter?”

NOW after fire sales at ShopNBC, the only source for this brand that was going to “dominate it’s class”, and a very interesting post on Jim Skelton’s Facebook page from a May 24th inquiry regarding new models and the very future of Imperious.

Jim’s response:
“I don’t know how much longer you’ll see them. Last I knew, there was still new product in production, and production on these takes about 3-6 months due to the complexity, so I’d assume you’ll see one or mayyyybe two more rounds of them. What Shop will do now with recent changes though, I cannot predict. There were still one or two brand new models due out plus new variations of the current models (one for example was an automatic 3 hand X-Wing)”

Another posters asks if Skelton believes that the “brand” is going to fold.

Jim Skelton responded “I don’t think “fold” is the right word, but it is possible that they might stop offering them.”

Hmm. It is widely believed that Skelton has some skin in the Invicperious game. ShopNBC fires him and now they are not going to offer any new models and ShopNBC is systematically blowing them out.

Draw your own conclusions.

AFTER weeks of silence and a noticeable decline of fanbois and girls on his public Facebook page, Jim Skelton is again interacting with the public at said page. While only an anecdotal observation, It seems that as his absence from cable has dragged on, he began receiving less adoration and responses to wall posts. His continual thanking of people for their support also suggests that he had no call in the decision to leave the number three network. As were the tone of the calls when he was a host, every post on his public page seems to follow the same narrative – you got me into collecting; “I know longer” purchase watches from ShopNBC; that British guy sucks; Tim Temple sucks; when are you going somewhere to sell me watches…

He’s also taking swipes at his former employer;

“Yeah, they’ve been KILLING prices and maxing out Value Pays lately… wonder why huh? LOL”

As well as at fellow hosts:

“At the least, with Daniel you don’t ever have to endure “Ummm”, “Uhhhh” every 3rd word because he is a true professional in front of the camera. Can’t say that for everyone though…” Clearly this is in reference to Tim Temple who’s “uhhh” and “ummm” are his signature presentation style.

“I do not watch the shows. The RARE occasion I do, I will only watch Daniel or Shawn.” This is funny because he accused Wilsey of grandstanding when he publicly left Watchgeeks – guess he hates Tim “Replaced me” Temple that much more.

“I honestly think Mike (and select other vendor guests) are the only life & personality left on the watch shows.”

As this blog previously reported, the word was that Jim Skelton was very uncool to Tim Temple when they had run in’s after the later was replaced by ShopNBC. Stories have also been floating around that Skelton tried to undermine Temple when he was brought back – again, these are unsubstantiated but Skelton’s past behavior on TV and even this blog suggests an unsavory personality.

THE big question is, where will Skelton end up? He’ll definitely generate sales as there are people waiting for him to tell them what to buy. Will it be JTV? He’d fit in well with the white trash hosts on that network. Will he end up at WOW? That’s starting to seem unlikely. WOW is blowing it out with Charla and I doubt his salary would be worth the slight increase in sales. I used to think that we’d see Invicta TV with Skelton as the host, but after telling Jill Sommerstein she should have twins and name one Holocaust, leaving her visibly upset, that is not going to happen either.

He’s hinting that something is going to happen. Maybe it will be live on Stickam from the couches of those still “caught up in his allure”

One things for sure, it’s funny how it’s come full circle and Temple has replaced an apparently fired Skelton and it makes this Michael “Fuckin” Davis post from December of 2008 even funnier:

Considering how and under what circumstances Tim left SNBC “back in the day”, I doubt that would be the last place he would show up. While he may be liked there by some of the old timers, I am willing to bet that there is still enough management around to remember how he left to go start up a direct competitor and took 3 or 4 of the most popular hosts with him.

I wish no one at JTV any ill will, but it is not looking good at the moment.
__________________
Michael

BACK on February 3, 2010, Jim Skelton mentioned that he was designing a line of art deco inspired timepieces while presenting Stuhrling Original watches opposite Larry Magen.

Since then, Invicta has launched the Imperious line which they originally claimed they were only financing until google searches revealed that Imperious was actually just another
Activa; a trademark owned by Invicta Watch Company. It has been the
subject of open speculation that ole Jimmy Skelton was actually the designer behind this line. I actually forgot even reporting Skelton’s revelation so many months ago. That was until I was wandering around a Borders and came across the book, 1001 Watches. Skimming through it, I found what might be the impetus and inspiration for the worst model from
Imperious, the Jail Bait Jail Break.

It’s been panned by even the most clueless of WIS as uninspired and ridiculous. A true caricature of oversized wrist bound ‘extreme’. When I read the accompanying description and it identified this as an ‘Art Deco’ piece, I remembered Jim’s announcement. I present the Vachron Constantin Montre a volets from 1930.
The ‘bars’ are actually blinds that hide the face, but when open offer a similar look to ‘prison bars’. One thing is for sure, the designer of the Jail Bait Jail
Break
really doesn’t understand the “art deco” era or how to reinterpret those design elements. When the first photos of the Jail Bait Jail Break hit the Net it found very few fans. On the Invicta financed watchgeeks, the majority had nothing nice to say so the thread was noticeably light. Since the reveal we’ve seen a lot of pictures of the X-Wing and Shattered and the price has been halved on some models of the unbalanced Gearhead, even as many early buyers of the overpriced models attempt to dump them on Geeks. WE
seem to have a clue as to where that most obtuse Jail Bait Jail Break design came from, now the question is when will it air and how poor will sales be?

AFTER months of hype and titillation by everyones favorite urbane fashionlessnista, Jim Skelton, the public finally got a glimpse of the much anticipated Invicta
Imperious Jail Bait Jail Break. After the abject failure of the initial InvictaImperious offer, the Gearhead, many wondered if the other proposed models would see the light of day. They have, and boy, are my eyes sore. It’s been speculated
that Mayor McCheesy is the designer behind this line and I have to say – a case could be made. They are obtuse and gaudy and lack any real balance or cohesion as a collection. The fuck is Eyal Laylo thinking to bankroll watches designed by a retail store manager?
Look at his image – I don’t think he could properly design a pile of dirt. Of the four models, the absolute worst of the bad bunch is the Jail Bait Jail Break. From the unaesthetic sideways dial layout that includes a labeled Date arrow
pointing to a nearly impenetrably opaque acrylic dial that obscures
the date wheel to the ridiculous, dare I say, laughable ‘prison’ bars, this thing is the most uninspired, cliche piece that the Invicta Watch Company has churned out yet. I thought Invicta
clearly crossed the taste line with the ARSEnal and the plate sized Sea Hunter, but at least those things still resemble legible timepieces. This thing is the horological equivalent to the Pontiac Aztek. It’s going to be real fun to see who gloats on the various
websites about buying one; more fun still to see actual wrist shots and imagine the chode walking around and flosing the wristshit at their local Walmart trying to impress chicks who are hanging around and waiting for their Valtrex prescriptions to be filed. I cannot wait to see the inital price and watching the trajectory as it bottoms out. That’s going to be some Must See TV. MY nine year old son likes mechanical and automatic watches, and I’ve assembled a nice little collection for him that includes a rose gold Sandoz and a Mil issue Hamilton from 1973. He likes to help me decide what watch I’m going to wear on the days I switch up, and you know –
he’s usually right on. So I asked for his impression. “What do you think of this watch?” “It’s hideous and disgusting – no real man should ever be caught wearing that thing! It’s
G-A-Y…” I gave him that disapproving look as I have a lot of lesbian friends and he acknowledged my grievance. So I offer a qualification and direction “Listen buddy, it’s so gay that gay
people are like – Jesus Christ, that thing is way too gay!”