AFTER the miserable failure of Jim Skelton’s last watch designs manufactured by Invicta – Imperious – he’s just announced another attempt at a watch brand.

His first release will be a tool diver; which is perfect because he’s the biggest tool in the world of TV horology.

We can expect Swiss automatics with Super Lume and sapphire crystals, as well as the all important link screws instead of pressure pins – the mark of quality and a point of pride for TV watch brands.

He’s stated that Lior is not involved so I suspect the new parent of Renato is likely the source for these, probably, Chinese cased watches. They’ll also be limited production and limited edition – as limited as a GMC limited edition, and another important selling point for TV horology aficionados.

No word on the packaging, which is also very important to any rumdum who’ll sport a Skelton original on their wrist.

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INVICTA, I mean Imperious, is headed back to ShopNBC on February 14th with an “upgraded” version of the X-Wing and Man-O-War. The Gearhead and Jailbait Jailbreak are nowhere in sight. While there was much speculation that Ustream host Jim Skelton was the man behind Imperious, you have to wonder if those two ‘game changing’ and ‘class dominating’ designs that are not updated or appearing could be Skelton’s only contribution to the brand.

If you ask me that X-Wing looks a lot like the redesigned Bolt Zeus which, according to some sources, seems to have tanked.

The show on Valentine’s Day will also be the premier of a new face for Invicta Imperious, former Atlanta Falcon Jamal “Dirty Bird” Anderson. He’s been hired as the Brand Ambassador which is odd that he’s presenting. And I thought most BAs were still active in their respective specialties?

Anderson’s debut on ShopNBC marks the three year anniversary of his arrest for felony cocaine possession and a misdemeanor marijuana charge. It has also been revealed that the Georgia Department of Revenue is claiming he owes $102,797.06 for the 2007 tax year.

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One can only imagine the stories that Anderson and Davis can swap at the company pot luck. The Jailbird and the Dirty Bird… You just can’t make this stuff up.

IT has been widely speculated that Jim Skelton has some connection to the Imperious watch brand which, after many denials, was revealed to be a trademark of Invicta.

Part of what fueled the Skelton / Imperious connection were comments by Skelton himself regarding his design of watches, as well as his constant admonishment of people wanting to know who designed such ground breaking pieces as the X-Wing and Jailbreak. I remember him finally getting fed up with people hinting at his involvement on WGs and he said something to the affect of “…do you know who the designer of the Speedway? Does it matter?”

NOW after fire sales at ShopNBC, the only source for this brand that was going to “dominate it’s class”, and a very interesting post on Jim Skelton’s Facebook page from a May 24th inquiry regarding new models and the very future of Imperious.

Jim’s response:
“I don’t know how much longer you’ll see them. Last I knew, there was still new product in production, and production on these takes about 3-6 months due to the complexity, so I’d assume you’ll see one or mayyyybe two more rounds of them. What Shop will do now with recent changes though, I cannot predict. There were still one or two brand new models due out plus new variations of the current models (one for example was an automatic 3 hand X-Wing)”

Another posters asks if Skelton believes that the “brand” is going to fold.

Jim Skelton responded “I don’t think “fold” is the right word, but it is possible that they might stop offering them.”

Hmm. It is widely believed that Skelton has some skin in the Invicperious game. ShopNBC fires him and now they are not going to offer any new models and ShopNBC is systematically blowing them out.

Draw your own conclusions.

BACK on February 3, 2010, Jim Skelton mentioned that he was designing a line of art deco inspired timepieces while presenting Stuhrling Original watches opposite Larry Magen.

Since then, Invicta has launched the Imperious line which they originally claimed they were only financing until google searches revealed that Imperious was actually just another
Activa; a trademark owned by Invicta Watch Company. It has been the
subject of open speculation that ole Jimmy Skelton was actually the designer behind this line. I actually forgot even reporting Skelton’s revelation so many months ago. That was until I was wandering around a Borders and came across the book, 1001 Watches. Skimming through it, I found what might be the impetus and inspiration for the worst model from
Imperious, the Jail Bait Jail Break.

It’s been panned by even the most clueless of WIS as uninspired and ridiculous. A true caricature of oversized wrist bound ‘extreme’. When I read the accompanying description and it identified this as an ‘Art Deco’ piece, I remembered Jim’s announcement. I present the Vachron Constantin Montre a volets from 1930.
The ‘bars’ are actually blinds that hide the face, but when open offer a similar look to ‘prison bars’. One thing is for sure, the designer of the Jail Bait Jail
Break
really doesn’t understand the “art deco” era or how to reinterpret those design elements. When the first photos of the Jail Bait Jail Break hit the Net it found very few fans. On the Invicta financed watchgeeks, the majority had nothing nice to say so the thread was noticeably light. Since the reveal we’ve seen a lot of pictures of the X-Wing and Shattered and the price has been halved on some models of the unbalanced Gearhead, even as many early buyers of the overpriced models attempt to dump them on Geeks. WE
seem to have a clue as to where that most obtuse Jail Bait Jail Break design came from, now the question is when will it air and how poor will sales be?

AFTER months of hype and titillation by everyones favorite urbane fashionlessnista, Jim Skelton, the public finally got a glimpse of the much anticipated Invicta
Imperious Jail Bait Jail Break. After the abject failure of the initial InvictaImperious offer, the Gearhead, many wondered if the other proposed models would see the light of day. They have, and boy, are my eyes sore. It’s been speculated
that Mayor McCheesy is the designer behind this line and I have to say – a case could be made. They are obtuse and gaudy and lack any real balance or cohesion as a collection. The fuck is Eyal Laylo thinking to bankroll watches designed by a retail store manager?
Look at his image – I don’t think he could properly design a pile of dirt. Of the four models, the absolute worst of the bad bunch is the Jail Bait Jail Break. From the unaesthetic sideways dial layout that includes a labeled Date arrow
pointing to a nearly impenetrably opaque acrylic dial that obscures
the date wheel to the ridiculous, dare I say, laughable ‘prison’ bars, this thing is the most uninspired, cliche piece that the Invicta Watch Company has churned out yet. I thought Invicta
clearly crossed the taste line with the ARSEnal and the plate sized Sea Hunter, but at least those things still resemble legible timepieces. This thing is the horological equivalent to the Pontiac Aztek. It’s going to be real fun to see who gloats on the various
websites about buying one; more fun still to see actual wrist shots and imagine the chode walking around and flosing the wristshit at their local Walmart trying to impress chicks who are hanging around and waiting for their Valtrex prescriptions to be filed. I cannot wait to see the inital price and watching the trajectory as it bottoms out. That’s going to be some Must See TV. MY nine year old son likes mechanical and automatic watches, and I’ve assembled a nice little collection for him that includes a rose gold Sandoz and a Mil issue Hamilton from 1973. He likes to help me decide what watch I’m going to wear on the days I switch up, and you know –
he’s usually right on. So I asked for his impression. “What do you think of this watch?” “It’s hideous and disgusting – no real man should ever be caught wearing that thing! It’s
G-A-Y…” I gave him that disapproving look as I have a lot of lesbian friends and he acknowledged my grievance. So I offer a qualification and direction “Listen buddy, it’s so gay that gay
people are like – Jesus Christ, that thing is way too gay!”