BACK in the 90’s a trend exploded where women started collecting miniature shoes. They were scaled quarter sized replicas of high heels and flats. Most that I saw appeared to be injection molded. They were sold along with tiered display shelves and seemed just the right thing for a stay-at-home wife to waste her husband’s money on.
At the time I remember thinking, “Why in the fuck do you want a replica shoe; why not just buy an actual pair of shoes and wear them?” It just made no goddamned sense to me.
Soon, they started appearing in dollar stores as grotesque and poorly executed caricatures of the original miniature shoes. Sound famiar?
As the Internet was in its AOL infancy, I don’t think there was a big collector market and so assume at some point these things got boxed up and put in the attic next to the glass blown French poodle vases and giant wooden forks and spoons.
Miniature furniture soon followed. And to be honest, this made a bit more sense to me as these were icons of mid-century modern designs; like the Eames lounge and Noguchi coffee table in 1/3 scale. At least these were specific, identifiable things. Are there really iconic shoes?
ENTER 2013 and the brilliant minds at Invicta Watch Company and their soon to launch line of miniature watches:
Yep.
Miniature watches.
The model that they are based on is the “Venom” which has a bunch of snake cues. I’m sure these will look bitchin’ staged next to the “pure oriental” Ninja sword sets of a Katana, Wakizashi and Tanto that Watchgeeks long ago bought from the late night, infomercial-as-homeshopping channel Frost Cutlery dicks.
But these may be purely functional for some. Seeing that so many Invicta fans have such chunky wrists, they seem to weigh in well over 400 lbs. These would be perfect rings on such a ham hand. If they are going to have to cut the wall out of your bedroom to get you to the hospital, you should be swagged out.
These would also be a great first watch for an infant. One would look hard as hell on a chubby newborns wrist; complemented by an Italian horn charm necklace. And how goddamned cute would it be if daddy and baby had matching Venoms?
You’re so lame, you already know this blog is about you
March 31, 2010
AS if throwing around rulers on set because he doesn’t know how to read them wasn’t enough, Jim Skelton decided to bring an Internet beef that he started to ShopNBC airwaves. On the Invicta Reserve Watches show from Monday, March 29, Skelton repeatedly made reference to a series of blogs that I’ve written over the past few months. Of course he completly misrepresented the argument in an attempt to simplify and ridicule.
“If a camera goes out out of focus for a second oh it means that Jim Skelton is leaving the show!” (32:25 in)
Uh, that’s not my opinion at all dipshit. ShopNBC let’s Temple go a few years back. Your ass kissing of Lalo results in his pushing for you to be hired.
Once you’re there for awhile, you launch Watchgeeks.com with the Invicta ‘Technical Brand Manager’ Michael Davis and another guy. You plug it on the air and your numbers swell. Any descent is met with insults and bullying. Threads are routinely deleted. You even attack a coworker, Shawn Wilsie as seeking to be a “martyr” and attention seeker. Those are your own words asshole, and anyone who has a login to WG knows it’s true!
You created and facilitate a marketplace on WG where these loyal ShopNBC buyers have the ability to purchase current SNBC merchandise, slightly used, at deeply discounted prices. In my original blog, I linked to an example of a Renato that is $400 less than one at the Shop. Your response was to take the sales forum from public to private. Am I “poisoning” peoples “minds” with untruths? Anyone reading this can sign up at watchgeeks.net and see for themselves by opening a ShopNBC browser and the WG marketplace in a second and compare the merch side by side.
How did you feel when you found out that Tim Temple was contacted by the new management team? How did you feel when he was finally brought back? It seems it was on his terms which is why he’s not an employee. And you apparently had to sit on that info. When watchgeeks was open to the world, I went back and found where you were alluding to a “Big Announcement” in August. That turned out to be Temple’s return announced in October. In your Jay Leno style response to the first article you mention that you had signed a new contract the prior week; the week of October 7, 2009. Those sources that I don’t have at ShopNBC tell me that contracts are either 9 month or 12 month deals. Which did you sign?
I’ll admit I was wrong; I thought you’d be long gone by now. Still under contract but off the air and gagged. How you like it. If my math is correct the week of July 7, 2010 is the nine month point and October 2010 is the year mark. You like to accuse me of back peddeling but the truth is that I based my speculation on what I would do if I were running the network. I’d keep you under contract so you couldn’t bad mouth the network but I’d most definetly bounce your fat ass out of the chair. My thinking was that management would be concerned with keeping the zombie buyers around. I’ll give you credit where it’s due; you have quite a few moronic fanboys and girls that think buying every dial/case/braclet of a particular model is watch collecting. You’ve also managed to get a lot of people to accept lackluster quality merchandise and used items sold as “New” with the same furvour and frenzy as religious zealots. I mean I’ve read WG posts where people bitch about getting a returned, worn item as new, complete with scratches. The responses always include other members attacking them fir complaining ; paraphrased as “You should be glad you got one!” Any readers of that original blog from October can see that you do have a hold on some people by looking at the comments. Kudos to being a hero of the stupid.
But the bigger picture appears to be more straight forward. You’ll be there until your contract is up, be it 9 months or 12. We both know you won’t be re-signing. Your shitty attitude, double entendres, sexual innuendo, questionable history and bluring of the line between watchgeeks, Invicta and ShopNBC is a liability for the network and your social network usurps the imitative that ShopNBC is attempting to implement.
Instead of trolling knife forums and causing trouble you really should have memorized the English measurements that coorolate to the most popular metric sizes associated with the watches you present, especially if you cannot use a ruler. Hmm – am I reading to much into this? Maybe you don’t care because you’re not coming back.
Tell the world which contract you signed – the 9 or the 12. Prove me wrong.
The facts are as clear as that George Michael beard on your face: Daniel Green did take a swipe at you; Shawn Wilsie has disassociating himself from your site – on the air and on Fb. Seven minutes into Monday’s show linked above you backhandedly say you watched all the shows but Temple’s while getting that major surgery that kept you away from watch geeks but not from trolling knife forums. And both you and that half-a-retard looking Davis always drop Tim Temple’s, “I’m just sayin” catch phrase as an inside joke between the both of you. Ha, ha, ha – that’s so funny. Nobody picks up on it, ha, ha, ha. You even do it on WG posts by signing it! Stevie Wonder can see through it dumbass! Am I really “reading way too much into things” or are you so stupid that you don’t realize how transparent you are?
I’m just sayin’…
Poor Tools Require Better Skills 