The Swiss Federation to take a close look at Invicta Watch Group

July 13, 2010

BETTERSKILLS blog has learned that Invicta Watch Group has come to the attention of the Federation of the Swiss Watch Industry FH over the Swinagate Fiasco. This was the Invicta practice of labeling Swiss Parts watches manufactured in the Far East as SWISS and then presenting these watches as “all Swiss Made” on homeshopping’s third place network, ShopNBC. A practice carried out for several years. Intrestingly enough, when the truth was revealed on by several members of that site with links to an archived ShopNBC presentation where Eyal Lalo, Invicta CEO, made the claims, the videos mysteriously disappeared. Watchgeeks is co-owned by Invicta Technically Brand Perception Manager Michael Davis and ShopNBC host Jim Skelton. Recently, Michael Davis responded to these complaints on watchgeeks by telling memebers to stop complaining or leave. Continued complaining would would get you banned.

Invicta, who is no stranger to lawsuits, potentially has a huge issue on their hands if this is pursued as they may have violated US Customs and Swiss laws.

IF a case is openned, might the “Swiss Made” provenance of the D-D Speedway Elite also be investigated?

Betterskillsblog will keep you posted.

73 Responses to “The Swiss Federation to take a close look at Invicta Watch Group”

  1. jr Says:

    Geography professor Eyal Lalo taught me that Panama, China and Florida are cantons in Switzerland

  2. krane11367 Says:

    Gang, this is the moment I’ve been waiting for, personally…since…well, you’ll see. If you checked out my posts during the past couple of weeks, I’ve been hinting of this. Not that I knew anything in advance, of course. 😉

    FINALLY! This is gonna get good, I’m telling you. Lie about THIS, Lalo!!! C’mon, snake oil salesman….tell us another one! And bring Skelton and Davis along, you know, to tell us some more whoppers!

    This is SO fucking cool.

  3. Big P Says:

    I am so fucking happy I could fall down!!

    This is GOOD news for sure.

    Fuck you Lalo and co.

  4. Diogenes Smith Says:

    I fear that this will not actually get much traction, but I am certainly hopeful, and it’s about time (pun).

    Regardless, it is very important that this information be actively reported, and I applaud this blog for doing so. I likewise applaud the author of the email to the Swiss Federation for taking the initiative of reporting Invicta’s transgressions and hope he has the tenacity to carry on.

    So many Lalo-lies have gone down the memory hole, and our slippery antagonists at Invicta/SNBC have gone thus-far untouched.

    Let’s hope the Plasticase lawsuit catches Lalo out, as well as the DD fiasco, and now the Swiss Federation/Swinese problem.

    But let’s not forget the Lalo-lie that really started things off for Invicta, the outrageous obloquy, vis-a-vis, “The Implausible History of the 1959 Russian Diver”:

    I would dearly love to see this Lalo-lie laid bare.

    P.S. As I understand that Jim Skelton and Mike Davis lurk here, I would like to leave a personal message for both: You are dirtbags of the first division, and I hope justice is served for your collective history of fraud, theft and general complicity with Lalo.

  5. Mikey Skelton Says:

    Ya know … other than this being an issue with some credible seriousness it will be years before anything is done if anything at all gets done about it and by that time Invicta will have there practices changed and will use the excuse that they were some what ignorant to all the extacting details and such of the labeling since they are not members of the Federation and such.

    Yeah Eyal will get out of it and Davis will still be working for him and Skelton will still be selling them and nothing will really change. This is a truth and reality that we all must at some point in time come to face.

    Also the WG’s will never really hear about any of this if it comes to fruition since it will never be allowed to be on that site and those who mention it will be banned. Its not that they are hiding anything but they do want things kept quite and there are many on that site who would purchase a Rolex and smash it with a hammer on the dealers counter if Lalo, Skelton or Davis asked them.

    They have a blind faith following that is what they all desire to help boost and fill there shallow ego’s. What makes me kind of wonder though is where is the 3rd partner of WG’s been lately? I aint seen Brucie boy lately … is he still around or is he maybe off somewhere in rehab detoxing from kool-aid he was addicted to.

  6. krane11367 Says:

    Want proof that Invicta is a pure scam outfit, pure and simple? This was brought up on the WatchLords site, and it’s pure proof in the pudding: Anytime there’s been controversy about where a watch was made (Swinese), or a pure piece of shit (well, just name the TTV):

    ShopNBC pulls the videos from the broadcasts off their site.

    Does Isomers do that? Bodyblade? Even Sensa?

    Talk about an admission of guilt! I mean, that’s so obvious, it’s crazy. Gang, I know it’s gonna be a long time coming, it’s gonna be hard, and it may never happen, but I wanna see Lalo, Skelton, Davis, and Jill on a soup line, or worse. The cool feel of metal clinking around their wrists is too good for these lowlife scumbags.

    And to think these obvious creeps have a coterie of even lower life forms as their “Watch Geeks” just boggles the mind. Only in America, where truth is dismissed as “haters.”

  7. Big P Says:

    Another well said post Krane!

    It could take a long time, so what, the word is out, and spreading faster than the wg even know.

    By no means is slopnbc the scapegoat, but they are not getting away without any blame on the matters at hand.

    Let’s talk legalities, ramifications, the plastic case suit if won, will cost Invicta big time, and in big ways, the Depraz speedway debacle, in time, if won, would involve many facets, from customs, to Swiss federation law…etc, will probably just about sink the Incrapta watch group entirely.

    The loyal wg don’t have to listen, and certainly don’t have to care, eventually in time, when the wg forum closes do to the MANY law suits against Incrapta, they will have no other choice but to shrivel and die, or for that matter, start posting elsewhere about their novelty of a watch collection.

    I am amazed how slopnbc and it’s watch hosts and vendors, but especially Incrapta, are so damn proficient at taking people’s money and trust, I mean their really good at what they do, unfortunately.

    I saw some old videos from slopnbc that was so god damn funny, remember when slop was selling 32 degrees watches???, holy crap, utter junk at it’s best, and those tinfoil thin chinese automatic movements, and John House pleading to purchase his line of dingy lame pieces, so funny and yet so sad.

    Chase-Durer has left slopnbc for a long time now, I do miss them, because I trusted them, I guess they knew something ahead of all of us and didn’t want to be no longer associated with the slop.

    Oh yeahhhh, if you want to vomit, I suggest watching slopnbc presentation of Ed Hardy timepieces, my unborn child could do better!!!

    If I had a nickel for the amount of times I heard Eyal say, “this is the far east version” of the Swiss so and so, I would have a nice pile of change, he’s changing the way Incrapta is using the word Swiss, the past 2-3 weeks have been priceless, they are back pedaling as fast as they can make the watches.

    Look at the 33 second youtube video where Eyal clearly says, “this is the far east version of the Ronda 5040d”, this means, ALL THESE YEARS HE WAS SELLING YOU AND SAYING TO YOU, this is the “SWISS” Ronda 5040d, when in actuality, HE WAS LYING HIS FRUITY ASS OFF with chinese product impersonating Swiss, what a douchebag, deserves a crack in the mouth, or 2, or 3…fucking deadbeat!!!

  8. Mikey Skelton Says:

    Krane … they already have the kewl feel of metal clinking around their wrists, they do where Invicta ya know.

  9. krane11367 Says:


    So true…


  10. Big P Says:

    I forgot to mention, if you all want to puke some more, then I urge you to watch on slopnbc the “Adee Kaye” line, and big Al’s Lebauche co., Mr. Nisimov once was quoted on the slop saying to Skell boy, “You know Jim, the watchmakers at the LeBauche company have to go to watch school for 2 whole years”…OMFUCKINGGOD!!!, even Skellie had a hard time with his response.

    A whole 2 years did you say Al, wow, and in Japan the chefs that serve Fugu(blowfish), with the deadly toxins, have a minimum of 25 yrs, no wonder Adee Kaye is on at 2am or better in the morning, same with a true sushi chef, minimum of 20 yrs or better to be a true sushi master.

    I would rather purchase a watch crafted by yogi bear and boo boo than an Adee Kaye, slopnbc has become an embarrassment.

    Let’s not let Tim(fishmouth)Temple skate away so easy, these salesman got it down perfect, sometimes it looks like he’s falling asleep with his eyes open, and boy oh boy, is he utterly repetitive in his vocabulary, puke!!!

    What ever happened to “hot lips” Avi?, I saw her once on the slop, boy oh boy, would I like to frost her face with globs of protein.

    She used to be on sloppy jewelery TV, and she wouldn’t shut the fuck up, she would find something interesting about roadkill if she had to sell it on TV, such garbage in a hot body…too bad.

    I wish I could read some posts showing the people all the different quality levels in these movements, good and not so good, the real breakdown of the components and guts, great job on the Russian Diver however, great pics, great breakdown.

    AAAWWWWW Fuck, I am getting AL-DENTE, need to rub one out, does anyone have Avi’s phone number?

  11. Mikey Skelton Says:

    Little P … why not be a good boy and think of Jimmy, Eyaly and Mikey all … well be a good little Geek and think of them while doing that.

  12. Big P Says:


    Mikey Skelton is talking to me??? to me???

    Hey Mikey, I go 6’2 270lbs(built) I will kick a fucking hole in your wimpy chest you cock sucking milk fed maggot!!!

    Little P??? is that all you got???

    Learn how to fucking spell you disease!!!

    I think of Jimmy, Eyal and M. Davis the same way I think of you, not tough in real life, pussies to the fullest extent!

    Your calling me a good little geek?

    I am NOT A WATCHGEEK moron, never was one, that forum is for insipid pricks like yourself.

    How does Jim Skelton’s salty pole taste Mikey???

    NAH NAH Mikey, I have taste, I am into horology, not TV brand watches, I have R-E-A-L timepieces, from trusted manufacturers, not clanky toys from slopnbc.

    You lucky son of a bitch Mikey, because I said nothing to you or about you, your obviously Jim’s younger brother, or cousin who looks like him, I am getting nauseous thinking of your face.

    Another thing Mikey Skelton, if you were in front of me with your tough guy attitude, you would beg me not to extinguish your pathetic existence, your the type of guy that acts one way behind your pc, and totally different in person…loser!!!


  13. Big P Says:

    My bologna has a first name

    It’s M-i-k-e-y

    My bologna has a second name

    It’s L-A-L-0-0

    Oh I love to make fun every day

    And if you ask this is what I’ll sayyy

    Incrapta has a secret name

    It’s b-o-l-o-g-n-a


  14. betterskills Says:

    I can’t figure out why Mikey and Big P are fighting – yinz both hate Skelton/ShopNBC/Invicta…

  15. Mikey Skelton Says:

    Now that is funny … somebody fighting with me, now that is hilarious. I read what he had to say and almost fell out of my chair trying to control my laughter.

    Little P is nothing more than a unkempt Little “Person” trying to show the world he is somebody of some sort of importance when he gets behind his computer screen. Nothing more and nothing less than just another bloviating idiot that is not worth the effort to respond to again.

    If it looks like we are in some sort of battle I will happily say that he wins since he’s not even worth showing up for.

  16. Big P Says:

    The reason I was fighting with Mikey is because he called be little p, and he spoke down to me and said why don’t I be a good little boy!!!!

    To me, wether he hates Skelton or not, hes being a supreme asshole with his mouth.

  17. Big P Says:

    Mikey started it betterskills,

    just look at his post from July 14th at 4:03 pm

    not my fault, maybe I misread his post I don’t know.

  18. Big P Says:

    Mikey Skelton,

    I will crush you like a grape.

    that’s only if your being a dickhead to me, you can fall off your chair all you want, but you started it.

    Just try not to fuck with people who dont fuck with you and I have no problem.

  19. Big P Says:

    Let me first apologize to betterskills,

    even though I feel I was provoked by Mikey Skelton.

  20. Jack Sparrow Says:

    Hey there peeps, why yall don’t just get along all nicey nice n stuff

    Big P ize agrees witcha, mickey started beefin on you for real

    I got me 17 invicts and so far 3 of em went for reapirs, I am still waitin on em, 3 1/2 weeks and still no watches returned

    peace peace and hair grease!

  21. betterskills Says:

    It doesn’t matter to me; if people wanna fight – have at it! But you guys are on the same page. Fight with Kenneth, he really craves the attention…

  22. Big P Says:


    Let’s kill Kenneth!!!!!!

    That incrapta loving slopnbc sniveling primate.

    Betterskills (the voice of reason)


  23. betterskills Says:

    “Kill” is a little harsh – but if the FEMA camps are real, he’s clearly someone who needs locked up in one.

  24. Big P Says:


    Is just a figure of speech.

    How about we call FEMA instead…lol

  25. Jack Sparrow Says:

    yeh yeh

    guess what too

    they charged me some large ass spinach to pay for my warrantied repairs

    wussup wit that


  26. Jack Sparrow Says:

    oh snap

    Im readin these there posts and wut not

    so basically whatcha yall sayin

    iz me invictas are fake?

    I spoke to dem yesterdayas

    telling me my watches had to go overseas to switzierland n shit

    wtf is goin on over there?

    yo whoss in charge over there?

  27. krane11367 Says:

    People are starting to think that no action will be taken against Invicta for their shenanigans by the Swiss Fed, but I think these things take time, and they need indisputable proof and lots of it. That shouldn’t be hard, given the TV follies of Lalo, S. Fingers, Davis and company. Patience is key; even if it’s just more public reports of how Invicta does business, it will only blacken their sordid image even further. And what’s wrong with that?

  28. frenchy Says:

    i am loving these posts, but i have been watching the nbc lately, and jimbo is acting like his ol self again.

    i saw larry megan and his startech ronda troopers, and chinese buddies.

    as for sparrow, don’t worry buddy, you’ll get your watches back eventually, just not real soon, sorry, that’s just how invicta operates, no pulse.

  29. Big P Says:

    Krane, did you catch the Sturhling Original show last night?

    Check this out, another live blooper unfolded.

    Jim was showing an old world vintage style watch with a 72 power reserve, this watch has a “double barrel”, or 2 main springs to wind instead of just 1.

    Anyway, this isn’t the first time slopnbc has had a live on air watch blooper, youtube the lupah that stopped ticking and minute hand gets stuck, very funny stuff.

    So Jim started winding…and winding…and winding…and the “cage” that is supposed to mimic a “tourbillion” wouldn’t spin right away, so like a faulty crappy flashlight, Jim whacks the watch against his wrist and hand to try to get it kick started, the look on their faces was “priceless”, and the Chinese are making strides my ass!

    Hey Mikey Skelton, let by gone’s be by gone’s, where ya been?, take the olive branch Mikey…lol

  30. frenchy Says:

    I saw the youtube video big p, it was the seconds hand that stuck and went back n forth and yeah it was funny.

    watched sturhling but i missed the part where you say jim whacked the watch to work, im sure it was very funny.

    Hey jack, don’t fret too much, you obviously haven’t dealt with invictas lack of customer service, WE ALL LIVE AND LEARN, and even then some still dont learn.

  31. krane11367 Says:

    Looks like SNBC was one long blooper reel last night. Later on came Croton, and David Mermelstein, on air with one of the female hosts said, “I’ll show you how easy it is to change the strap” on one of the better Ermex watches with the push-pin release straps. The poor guy; he never managed to get the thing changed. Shop actually kept cutting away from the Merm as he struggled in vain to change the strap, which he never did; it felt life the segment went on for an hour, it was so painful to watch. Merm recently had a rotator cuff surgery, so I’m not blasting him – but just trying to point out that nothing SNBC tried to do with watches worked last night…including selling them, apparently.

  32. Fuzzy Wabbit Says:

    I wonder if the courts will let Lalo pay his legal fees and fines in VP’s? Maybe he can sweet talk the Judge into a nice Venom. Chicks dig wearing 55mm watches.

  33. Big P Says:

    (The Updated Invicta Customer Pledge)

    We at Invicta Watch Group only use the finest butter soft rolled stainless steel, and our AAA grade mother of pearl comes from the highest sourced funky Chinese toenails.

    Our strap materials are of the highest quality Bangladesh cows and roadkill, Invicta uses NASA grade carbon fiber that is as strong as silly string.

    We use Mr. Chang’s house of noodles and watchmaking to craft our upper echelon junk watches and dumplings.

    Our watches are “INVINCIBLE”, if play-dough is your criteria.

    Our office is here to help you, as long as you don’t need any help, we have the 12,765th ranked customer service in the land, and were proud of it!!

    Invicta’s hardworking president and CEO “Eyal Falafal” is here to help you with your many needs, like trying to get your timepiece to work, he will work painstakingly to dodge law suits and criminal prosecution, and he will read you a bed time story if you leave him milk n cookies.

    Remember, at Invicta, Applied thought can only be processed through deceit.

  34. Jack Sparrow Says:

    yo yo

    im beginning to gets pissed off

    i just might be a fool for gettin invictas

    lord only knows whut da fuk my watches went to

    i shoulda get me a fukin rolls insteasd

  35. frenchy Says:

    jack oh jack, i feel your pain, here’s what I would do if I were you:

    1- never buy another invicta or tv brand again no matter the deal.

    2- discard your invicta’s, or give them to someone who can’t tell the difference between a quality timepiece and a not so quality timepiece.

    3- breathe deeply jack, take it easy, it’s not life or death, just junk watches.

  36. LIES ALL LIES!!! Says:

    I promise you this, Invicta and Eyal are not sweating this one bit.

    They had to know eventually the shit was going to hit the fan when they played the shell game with Swiss/Chinese movements, and the Swiss Federation looking into it was a possibility as is US Customs.

    So they are either not concerned with any legal consequences from the Swiss Federation, or perhaps, just perhaps they had hoped to not be discovered before either the Swiss Federation or US Customs could do something.

    Meaning maybe Invicta knows it is a dead man walking with the likely eventual folding of Shop NBC. Get as much $$$ as you can, while you can, before the hammer falls.

    Just speculation though.

  37. Big P Says:

    Lies All Lies,

    Your speculation just might be spot on, however just because a Lion roars does not mean it isn’t scared.

    The “box” law suit intrigues me very much, such a obvious mistake by Lalo & co, and I for one cannot wait until it culminates.

    Look at Shopnbc, they are not just deceitful with their watch vendors(Invicta), but let’s look at their “Waterford Crystal”, first off, the authentic ones are made and stamped in Ireland, but Nbc customer’s are receiving Indonesia, Slovakia…etc, or some other place of origin, with tons of noticeable imperfections, I guess Nbc is so fraudulent they get away with murder.

    So what if in the end Lalo & co do not lose their business and skate away clean, the facts and truth are out there big time, what I feel is that Invicta will lose a TON of future business, from people waking up, and also Lalo & co as far as I can see, will never go a 12 months straight without some form of minor to major law suit against them and their bullshit tactics.

  38. krane11367 Says:

    Big P,

    You made a good point there.

    Facts are facts, and anyone who knows or cares about watches knows that Invicta is the worst of the worst, the pus-filled paper cut of the watch world. I just read that they’re coming out with another Valjoux model as a TTV this weekend – oh, man. It’s gonna be hilarious, as usual, when these 800 to 900-dollar turds start either showing up DOA, or have chrono or hands problems, as is ALWAYS the case. Swiss made, my juicy smart ass.

    It’s astounding, amazing: Invicta makes vomitous products with no customer service at all, and ShopNBC on top of it makes so many mistakes in shipping and product fulfillment that it’s a double whammy of rip-off. Yet…there those WGs are, oohing and ahhing, “can’t waiting” for the next tasteless oversized “big thing,” sold to them by Lalo, S. Fingers, and Bourbon Belches Davis. But then again, after seeing the wonderful color pics of their last big NATIONAL event, these “watch collectors” wouldn’t know quality if it bit ’em in the bum in the first place. Sad, sorry people, and I’m tired of looking out for the best interests of corn-fed idiots. Fuck ’em. This is going to sound awfully mean spirited, but knowing what I know about the uber-members of WGs, I hope they continue to lose money and time, every fucking stupid one of ’em, so that eventually even the dimmest of these dim mutant slime toads finally realizes he’s been duped by carnys. I hope Chiefy and that know-it-all unfuckable cretin Backfly and NYcruza (hey, I’m a New Yorker; they’d laugh you out of the bar here, you old faux biker) and 50mmBrain get their fucking disintegrating Chinese-made puke piles and they won’t run for a mili-second. Serves ’em perfectly.

    What a menagerie of fucktards. I have a new attitude about all this: Instead of trying to educate a bunch of guys who couldn’t get a date in a whorehouse with $1,000 bills taped to their foreheads, I’m going to relish every piece of Invicta garbabe these pond scum love to spend their money on. I’m going to cackle with glee with every CS issue, every DOA shipment, every 16-month wait for “parts.” Shitheads – these are the types of consumers that DESERVE things like foreclosures and bankruptcys. Dim fucking wits.

  39. LIES ALL LIES!!! Says:

    You’re right Big P, but I really do not think Invicta has any long term plans set. Mainly because they see the writing on the wall. Maybe at one time Invicta was in it to be a horological player, but if that was the case I don’t think it is anymore. If they did they would actually give a crap about their reputation and the shady QC, lacking customer service, and the too many to list flat out bold faced lies they have been caught up in. No, with them it’s all about the quick buck, make as much money now and when it is time to pay the piper get out with a golden parachute.

    What happens to Invicta if Shop NBC folds? I think that is the bigger question here. Do they move on to another network? Possible, but QVC and HSN are not in the watch business. Plus Renato tried that and got spanked pretty quickly. They literally could not dedicate any blocks to watches as the cheap shit ladies clothing makes more money for them. Go to JTV? Even if they did, all 11 households who get that channel are not going to keep Invicta profits up.

    Without the shop at home channel media behind them the gray market DOD sites will dry up too. Which leaves retail, this is a brand who has never broke into retail seriously and with their reputation never will. They are only going move so much product through Sam’s Club and JCPenney’s.

    I think in typical snake oil salesman fashion they will fold and return with a different scam. I am betting Eyal and the Invicta investors already have plan “B” ready to implement when the time comes. That time is looming because Shop NBC is months away from the eventual folding. They no longer will have the NBC name, GE may need to ditch them for better deals, and all the former QVC execs they brought in to turn things around have still lost money every quarter. The last ditch effort with spending to bring in proven talent from QVC is another failed Value Vision experiment.

    As for the Swiss Federation, catch them if you can because tomorrow is uncertain in the land of Flame Fusion and Swiss Gold Layering.

  40. betterskills Says:

    I honestly do think Invicta would pull the Frost Cutlery move of filming a few hours a week of commercials and then paying to air them all over cable systems – there were a few women hosting a faux shopping channel that did just that.

    Think about it; IWG has already delved into creating graphics with those Flash films they were doing for awhile. Maybe that’s why the unlikely TV personality of Magilla Gorilla has a career. What else do they keep Jill around for? Those dudes who droll over her at WG would tune in and buy shit if she shows a little clevage.

    If SNBC folds – you’ve got a production staff available.

    Just sayin’

  41. Big P Says:

    When you break it down to it’s barest of bones, what your left with is a “televised carnival”, that goes for nbc, their hosts and vendors.

    Invicta can possess a plan b, or a plan c for that matter, but when you peel the layers back, it just means that they are back peddling to save face and future business.

    Please don’t lookout for, and worry for the masses that fall for these scummy watches, in time, they will either learn the easy way, or the hard way.

    I have said it before, the nbc watch collection is not a collection, but a novelty collection of junk at it’s best, take your watches to your jewelers and be prepared for a revelation of embarrassing proportions.

    Better yet, open up your case backs and gaze at your “made in far east” replicas, what a fucking joke, Swiss parts, Swiss farts…phew!!

    Just like in timepieces that are “minute repeaters”, the hammers are coming down folks, slowly but surely, and the hammers that fall eventually hit their mark.

    What I would also like to say , is that for all of us that know the real deal, I have to say it’s quite hilarious to watch the nbc watch shows, it’s so transparent and fucked up with their delivery, that it’s fucking entertaining.

    This embarrassment called Invicta as I look into my crystal ball, will wind up in the shit, at sam’s club, tjmaxx, kmart, maybe even some of their employees on the network will wind up selling cigars again…lol

    Oh before I forget, what about the Invictards that have 50-100-200 of their watches, hahahahah, these people walk around town displaying made in china on their wrists, and all the money they spent, thinking they were getting a deal…lol

    remember folks:

    “At Invicta, applied thought can only progress through mass deceit”

  42. krane11367 Says:


    I think you are on to something – look at this “mysterious” Imperious project that Skelton’s been crowing about on WG (yeah, I know, the horologcial equivalent of felching, but you get the idea). When the Swiss Fed and the Plasticase things are proven (or before), and when Shop ceases to exist, they’ll simply liquidate, move down the block, start the “Imperious” brand, Lalo will find a mouthpiece, do his own late night infomercial-style ads, and it will start all over again. That’s what shady MLM types do, and Lalo is surely cut from the same cloth.

    Yeah, we can’t figure out who’s behind Imperious, S. Fingers; only a guy who’d be wearing a sideways baseball hat like Lalo if he hadn’t stepped in it would come up with a faux-macho brand like that. The only thing that’s for sure about the Imperious Gearhead is that it will be laughingly awful – and purchased by about 1,000 really seedy guys, the types who’d bring coupons to a whorehouse.

  43. Big P Says:

    I also have been trying to find out who the (silent) 3rd party Depraz speedway module supplier was.

    The more I continue to read, (and I am not 100% sure), simple logic points me in the direction of SWI.

    Now, I don’t like to do participate in “guesswork”, however if you have watched and listened to SWI and Lior and Juan Davies over the years talking about Depraz and their relationship with them, and add to the recipe of Florida’s SWI and Invicta connection, and the almost infinite posts throughout the web, it just fits perfectly.

    Krane might have it right with “liquidation”…etc, everybody here seems to have well thought out valid points, as well as well thought out hilarious comments (yours truly).

    I am very happy to read these posts, the clouds of confusion seem to part when one becomes an educated consumer, as for me, I cannot wait until the next update, people need to come here and get educated, and entertained, great job betterskills!!!

    Bye the way, I scoured the internet and found out the name of Invicta’s next watch brand once Invicta is no more:

    COCK “N” Balls by Eyal


  44. Mr. Sicuro Says:

    awwwwwsommmeeeee deal!

    —yes you too can own your very own sicuro watch box and winders—

    —arrives at your door with an overly generous 90 day warranty—

    —junk like this can only be purchased at shopnbc, just sayin—

    —fake wood and layers of poly make this the perfect gift for your brain dead loved ones—

    —be amazed and hypnotized as our hosts tell you why you need the sicuro lifestyle—

    —act now and forever be a member of the sicuro family of freaks and mongoloids—

    —buy any 2 sicuro products and be enshrined in the securo hall of fame for an additional fee—

    —straight to you from china with love with improved lubrication and lawn mower quiet winders—

    *prices subject to change without notice*
    *not responsible if you feel fucked over by shopnbc or it’s affiliates*
    *upon handling sicuro products if skin turns green don’t try to call a doctor it’s already too late*
    *a small $35 restocking fee for returns paid by check to the following address:

    oooops we forgot, we don’t have a company in the united states, instead please send your defective crap to our schmucky scapegoat:

    Jim Skelton

    666 Scumbag lane

    Eden Prairie Mn 666-8666-10

    *if within one calender year from your return you still haven’t received a response then please kindly go fuck off*

    *thank you for letting sicuro be your watch box and winder choice even if your stupid*

    A note from our leader Jim:

    “I personally guarantee your sicuro purchase to work as specified for no more than 3 weeks to a whole entire month, this is our pledge of greatness to you, our beloved consumers”





    ACT NOW!!!!

  45. betterskills Says:

    Hilarious! While I was in the pool and taking naps some idiot wasted their entire afternoon! Dumbass! No one cares – it’s fucking Invicta for pete’s sake!

  46. Mr. Sicuro Says:

    —a laugh is a laugh—

    and it only took me 15 minutes to write it

    *act now and get the behind the scenes dvd of Eyal blowing moose cock and fondling his pet monkey*

    —his pet monkey is named Jim—

    act now

    or eat shit

  47. William Says:

    I love how shop is just THAT stupid to allow them to have “XOSKELTON” not “XOSKELETON” on their presentation. It infuriates me to not be able to call or write them…and tell them that they are tools. Guaranteed that was on purpose. Grape Ape.

  48. Big P Says:

    Holy shit Sicuro, you should have wrote that about Invicta, nobody gives a hoot about Sicuro.

    By the way, it was fucking hilarious, 15 minutes my ass!!

  49. Big P Says:


    Those xoskeleton’s are the left overs from Avi & Temple’s shows from jewelery television.

    And William, you can call them live at 1-800-938-9708 & give them your feelings.

    William, you can also write to or or

    Or you can keep writing posts here, look at all the options, only in America.

  50. Anonymous Says:

    yo its been 2 months n shit NO WATCHES

    ill never buy anither invictas period

  51. Project ABDA Says:















    @%&%*&&(*** E*8N*%$D T*&R^$AN#SM^&M%IS^%%$I*O&N

  52. William Says:

    No, I was referring to the placard saying “XOSKELTON” i.e Jim SKELTON on the 4AM showing. Easy to do, sure..But come on..

  53. krane11367 Says:

    After two years of vibrating, mewling, and shaking uncontrollably like special class kids after everything that program host Jim Skelton said on ShopNBC, a new reality may be on the horizon – even Watch Geeks, a group that en masse has the intelligence of umbrella stands, may finally, slowly, painfully be coming to the realization that Invicta watches are the drizzling shits.

    For the last three days of the week of July 19, ShopNBC had been doing a mind-numbingly meaningless “Vegas 2010” presentation that, amazingly, had nothing at all to do with Las Vegas that any upright walking mammal could figure out; they put up a few signs in their decrepit Minnesota TV studio and off they went. Regardless, Shop closed out the “event” with 27 hours of watches, and the last day’s TTV was a new Invicta Reserve (oh, PLEASE; these watches are about as collectable as mouse droppings) Pro Diver model with a Valjoux 7750 auto chrono movement. Now, remember just a few months back, the D/D Speedway fuck-up of the ages? That had a 7750 movement in it too, as well as the D/D module. Regardless, after the returns were send in, in droves, people logged on to Watch Geeks saying things like “I would have waited a lifetime for this watch” and “I’ll order one when they’re fixed,” which was totally amazing; these watches were ugly, unfinished duds, yet they lined up saying “thank you, sir, may I have another.”

    Well, maybe they DON’T want another. Yesterday’s Valjoux Pro Diver was hyped virtually all day long and for weeks on the WG site, and it just sat there like the lump of Eden Prairie shit that it really is. Yeah, they “sold out the silvertone” (at least 10 reappeared on the ShopNBC website the next day; that’s a classic Shop scam, too; produce less of one color and “sell it out” to create false excitement), but the other two offered colors just sat…and sat…and sat. Looks like even WGs, at least the ones who have real-time friends, jobs, and can dress all by themselves, know that finally enough is enough and they weren’t going to waste $700 smackers on another disease-ridden rodent in a yellow box.

    What must make the folks at IWG all the more galled is that Avi Vierra of XOSkeleton, who did two programs during the block (with Shawn Wilsie and Tim Temple), simply came out and blew the roof off the place. Stunning in a pair of gowns, knowledgeable but not a liar about her products, and easily and charismatically bantering with the hosts, XOSkeleton virtually sold out every watch they presented in her two hours of airtime. No Swiss this or that, no horse crap, just talk about the fashion designs of her fashion watches. If ShopNBC hasn’t figured out that people like Vierra are real sales reps as opposed to the idiotic bunch of drunks that Lalo hangs with, they deserve the liquidation that surely will be coming to the network in the coming months; at least two business reports in the past three weeks put Shop’s parent company, ValueVision, on its last legs.

    However, yesterday’s sorry showing by Skelton’s programs are really telling, and the “amiable” watch show host looked tired, fatter than ever, and, to be honest, scared. He and Mongo Davis kept warily looking at the monitors, which showed that nothing was selling, and they knew it; by the time they left the air late Sunday, they were two defeated little shills. If this particular “sales event” doesn’t mark the beginning of the end of Skelton’s ShopNBC run, I don’t know what possibly could. He is beginning to look awful, almost amateurish on television; he’s the Zach Galifianakis of home shopping, but it’s a real life person, not a comedian trying to be funny. Think of it: Someone gave the homeless, disheveled slacker loser a job – on TV. Heads must roll.

    Let’s start the official Dead Skelton watch once again, betterskills; it’s just a matter of time.

  54. Diogenes Smith Says:

    Looks like fake diamonds are the latest scam from Invicta. According to a geek:
    “First let me start off by saying I’m not trying to be negative, but truthfully reporting the facts of what actually happened. On June 29th I purchased my wife the TTV – The Invicta II Women’s Classique Boutique Quartz Diamond Accent Stainless Steel Bracelet Watch – J179607 in the TwoTone.

    About a week ago she noticed one of the diamonds were missing on the bezel, just after the 3 o’clock hour marker. I doubted if this was covered under the warranty, and if it were it might be cheaper to have the diamond replaced by a local jeweler. Today we brought the watch to a local jeweler for the replacement, and he told us the diamond accents on the watch were not diamonds but crystals.

    It wasn’t a big deal for me because I only paid $119 for the watch, but my wife was disappointed. The thing is I don’t know if the jeweler was correct and they are real diamonds, or are crystals like he mentioned. I might get a second opinion one day from a second jeweler just to clear up the matter.

    Was wondering if any one else who purchased the watch had a similar experience?”

    Diamond Jim’s response (before “temporarily” locking the thread) appears to verify the fake stones:
    “Ok guys, here’s all I know right now.

    Our customer service at ShopNBC has been made aware of an issue a few days ago, and are currently assessing it to bring out the best solution for those inconvenienced.

    There is no resolution yet, it is still being hammered out.

    Any and all customers who face this issue will be contacted directly and completely satisfied soon.


    Hopefully, not too many unsuspecting geeks were “inconvenienced” by the latest fraud…

  55. WOW!!! Says:

    I just went over to watchlords and saw all the Invicta court records for the plastic case law suit.

    It is a must see, Lalo is for sure no Abraham Lincoln LOLOLOL

    Lalo is a crook and he does not conduct business in a truthful manor

  56. betterskills Says:

    Excellent analysis. I watched a few hours toward the tail end. It was Sunday so True Blood trumps any of the handful of watches that have been in rotation for the past two months – “…boring! Boring! Exterminate! Exterminate!” As horrible as Entorage is; it is still better in its alternate, fake reality than Jim “Erasure Beard” Skelton and Michael “This is what a shaved Wookie’s Ass Looks like” Davis. The set looked like one of those Public Access shows that Sal and Richard from the Stern show crank call. I agree; Skelton is just laughable at this point. ShopNBC looks exactly like the 6th place shopping network with what Hamchop’s actions against his own forum members; most recently the whining because people didn’t like his latest photoshops that are setup the same way for every watch he shoots. At this point, you could probably hire the Frost Cutlery guys – Bo and Luke and they would do just as well. Hell – Jimmy Mercury has taken to screaming like Danny “Watch Commander” Blair that he’s made fun of on Watchgeeks.

    The WC dissed by the head WG. It’s like ta WWE storyline.

  57. Big P Says:

    Krane, this is not the first time I have complimented you on such a well thought out and quite observant post, that was fantastic.

    I also watched the Vegas feces tour, and yes Jim and Yuckmouth looked very bewildered and defeated and amateurish.

    Nobody wishes regular hard working people to have food taken off their tables, but these are not regular hard working people, they are tactical liars who prey upon people who don’t know any better, they are pieces of shit to the fullest extent.

    I bet Jim wishes his TMJ jaw issue was actually real, and Mike(oily balding)Davis wishes he was back at Arby’s selling roast beef.

    Think I smell the putrid decay of valuevision and it’s obese sentinels of slaughter, nope…wait, that’s just Pam Mcoy’s rotten snatch, my bad.

    What I can’t wait to see, is the watchgeeks dropping like over stuffed dung beetles, and the crispy crunch their going to make under our feet…oh fucking joy!!

    Invicta is dying…there really is a god.

  58. krane11367 Says:

    “What I can’t wait to see, is the watchgeeks dropping like overstuffed dung beetles, and the crispy crunch they’re going to make under our feet…” man, that is some sentence. I don’t know how you came up with that one but….DAMN, I enjoyed that. You don’t get this sort of creativity on most sites!

  59. Big P Says:

    Thank you much krane, glad you enjoyed.

    People need to see the truth behind Invicta and their unmasked CEO for what he, and his untruthful misleading company is about.

    I stumbled upon this great website, and I am very happy I did, betterskills is an awesome place for a major thing in life that to me is paramount…”the truth”.

    I could care less what product a company sells, if they are finagling the masses, fibbing through their razor teeth, and pulling the wool over peoples eyes, then they need to have their business practices halted completely.

    Mr.(Abraham)Lalo is such a successful double talker, but not good enough to continue his lies, it’s nice to see all the crusty eye lids slowly opening from their fooled slumber and embrace the shenanigans.

    It does not matter what walk of life anyone comes from, or what ethnicity, NOBODY RESPECTS A LIAR, or trusts one.

    I hope Invicta gets gang green of the tongue, and eventually decays and falls out of their pie holes by the dozen.

    🙂 j-u-s-t s-a-y-i-n

  60. […] ripped off. Might it be the Swiss Federation for providing a platform for Invicta to market Chinese watches as Swiss Made? Or maybe it is the victims of identity theft related to “insider wrong doing” that was […]

  61. Aaron Johns Says:

    Great post! Jim Skelton is the biggest douche nozzle ever!

    All the best, Aaron

  62. John Burke Says:

    Do not ever buy one of these timepieces. I made this mistake. Then the watch broke and tried to send it back to them. After it sat in a Maryland post office for the entire month with numerous attempts to deliver it. I tried calling and leaving seven voicemails and seven emails. No one ever responded. And yes it was the correct phone number and email address. Finally my broken watch is being sent back to me from the post office where it’s been sitting for a month with no resolution. DON’T BUY AN XOSKELETON TIMEPIECE!

  63. koimaster Says:

    Right now at least two of the brands sold on shop being looked at by the legal consuls office of the Swiss Federation as well as a Swiss watch company known for making watches as a third party. This company makes watched for people like SO as well as others. I have an email from the legal consul office of the Swiss Confederation confirming it.

  64. Riky Says:

    Iam concerned with all this from Mike Davis record of Robert and conviction to the out look by the Swiss federation investigating the operation of invicta. I have purchased many and I will have all watches Swiss made lode at for there status.rwp

  65. Jerkin The Gerkin Says:


    That must mean all the Swiss Made SO Prestige’s with ST-9009 Swiss Made movements are really asian???

    Duhhhhhhh you don’t say.

    Did anyone catch former host Shawn Wilsie say live on air that he would rather have an ETA 2824-2 over those Chinese Tourbillon’s?

    Duhhhhhhh you don’t say.

    Invicta being investigated?

    Yeah you know, you don’t say.

    Somebody crack one of these cases open, like the ST-7750 lololol and take your damn jewelrers loupe and have a gander.

    ShopNbc, all the non collectible questionably manufactured non valuable wares your credit card can muster!

    Have at it!!

  66. […] penalty. Might this weak argument be a finger pointed at Invicta for such memorable missteps as the Swina Gate Fiasco and the great The Great DD Debacle? There’s no way to tell because the exhibits used to make […]

  67. […] […]

  68. Twat Waffles Says:

    “Twas The Night Before Invicta”

    Twas the night before Invicta, and all through the Invicta Grotto,
    Not a reserve was on time, a watch that works is like hitting the lotto.
    The stockings were hung with broken Valjoux’s without care,
    In hopes that Mike Davis will fall off his chair.

    The children were nestled all snug in their Invicta beds,
    While visions of dive slot cases danced in their empty heads.
    And mamma Lalo in her yellow kerchief, and I in my cap,
    Just settled our brains for a long winter’s crap.

    When out on the Pavillion there arose such chatter,
    Jim sprang from the bed with his brand of knives to see what’s the matter.
    Away to the window he flew like a flash,
    His jaw came unhinged and shit his fucking pants.

    The moon on Jill’s breasts of the new fallen snow
    Gave the watches lustre of mid-day counting crows.
    When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
    But a naked Invicta Ryan, with a Zeus stuck in his rear.

    With a little old driver, so lively and sick,
    I knew at the moment he must be full of shit.
    More rapid than Pro Divers his coursers they came,
    And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

    “Now Dingbat!, now Douchebag!, no Jerkoff!, and Shitsen!
    On Crapneck, On Stupid!, on Dank and Schlitzen!
    To the top of the Marina to the top of the Wall!
    Now stash away, stash away, your cash is mine y’all!

    Eyal sprang to his yellow sleigh, to his team he gave a whistle,
    And away they all flew in the Invicta piper cub like a missile.
    Bit I heard Eyal exclaim, ‘ere he flew out of sight,
    “Have a happy Christmas to all, and may your watches work for more than one night!


  69. Rudolph Says:

    Deck The Malls

    Deck the malls with bowels and holly
    Fa la lal la la, la la la la
    Tis the season Davis drinks his barely
    Fa la la la la la, la la la la

    Daniel Green in his brilliant sub-akwa apparel,
    Fa la la la la, la la la la
    Troll the watchgeeks they love their Ocean Baron
    Fa la la la la, la la la la

    Sing the ancient wino chorus
    Fa la la la la, la la la la
    Strike the harp as Jill starts to bore us
    Fa la la la la, la la la la

    Follow me in merry measure
    Fa la la la la, la la la la la
    While I tell of Russian Diver treasure
    Fa la la la la, la la la la la

    Fast away Mike Davis passing gases
    Fa la la la la, la la la la
    Heather Hall’s so hot wanna cum on her asses
    Fa la la la la, la la la la

    Sing we joyous, Davis’ wrinkles
    Fa la la la la, la la la la
    Heedless of foul wind as Kendy tinkles
    Fa la la la la, la la la….LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

  70. Michael F*##@*G Davis Says:

    Listen up watch world, I have something to say here. My credentials in this business are impeccable, and much respected.

    In fact, whenever I attend Basel the bathroom attendant knows to give me extra cologne for my Davis stank, and extra mints for my rotted tooth odor. I gave him a Lupah with 47 straps with quick change pins for a tip!

    My Navy Seal powers let me tell the time underwater while Aqua-Man gives me a pedicure.

    In 15 mos the SubAqua Noma 6 will be on ShopHq, and with this new Dubois Depraz 57 jewel module will make it the most collectible Invicta yet!!!!!!!! The people at DD have been very impressed with our high failure rate, we do our best.

    I am trolling these watch forums spreading my dusty musty spices!!

    Tim Temple (turtle face Tim) is my BESTEST FWEND INDA HOLE WIDE WURLD!!! He respects me and cow tows to my horology greatness and hotness.

    Please, instead of making fun of me, EMBRACE my hotness!!!

    In a few months, I will be on the Shop revealing my brand of Cologne, here is a list of it’s ingredients;

    Bat shit, muskatel, ramen noodle spice packets, vodka, beefaroni, vomit, onion powder, smegma flakes, ground camel hoofs with toe spam, and a hint of rancid olive loaf.

    This cologne will be sold separately, or come March accompanying ShopHq’s TTV Hematite encrusted elements yellow snot rag.

    Don’t fight me watch world, it’s FUTILE, embrace the HOTNESS NOW!!!!

  71. Jim Skelton Says:

    I have Betterskills? Indeed I do!!

    Folks, if anybody is interested, I am launching my own watch and knife line.

    I accept PayPal, and loose pennies.

    I will be joining AROD and will be suing MLB because I have NOT been using PED’S, “Performance Enhancing Dildo’s”.

    Why can’t the watch world embrace my greatness?

  72. koimaster Says:

    Well it seems that Invicta has been pointed out as a replica or counterfeit maker by the Swiss Federation in their annual report.

    Open the PDF and scroll to page 31 of the report or page 33 of the PDF and behold the picture embedded in the 2015 Annual Report of the Swiss Federation.

  73. koimaster Says:

    And lemmings continue to buy inflicta watches, oblivious to the history of the company and the fraud that it is.

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