Former ShopNBC Host Skelton Starts to Open Up

May 18, 2011

AFTER weeks of silence and a noticeable decline of fanbois and girls on his public Facebook page, Jim Skelton is again interacting with the public at said page. While only an anecdotal observation, It seems that as his absence from cable has dragged on, he began receiving less adoration and responses to wall posts. His continual thanking of people for their support also suggests that he had no call in the decision to leave the number three network. As were the tone of the calls when he was a host, every post on his public page seems to follow the same narrative – you got me into collecting; “I know longer” purchase watches from ShopNBC; that British guy sucks; Tim Temple sucks; when are you going somewhere to sell me watches…

He’s also taking swipes at his former employer;

“Yeah, they’ve been KILLING prices and maxing out Value Pays lately… wonder why huh? LOL”

As well as at fellow hosts:

“At the least, with Daniel you don’t ever have to endure “Ummm”, “Uhhhh” every 3rd word because he is a true professional in front of the camera. Can’t say that for everyone though…” Clearly this is in reference to Tim Temple who’s “uhhh” and “ummm” are his signature presentation style.

“I do not watch the shows. The RARE occasion I do, I will only watch Daniel or Shawn.” This is funny because he accused Wilsey of grandstanding when he publicly left Watchgeeks – guess he hates Tim “Replaced me” Temple that much more.

“I honestly think Mike (and select other vendor guests) are the only life & personality left on the watch shows.”

As this blog previously reported, the word was that Jim Skelton was very uncool to Tim Temple when they had run in’s after the later was replaced by ShopNBC. Stories have also been floating around that Skelton tried to undermine Temple when he was brought back – again, these are unsubstantiated but Skelton’s past behavior on TV and even this blog suggests an unsavory personality.

THE big question is, where will Skelton end up? He’ll definitely generate sales as there are people waiting for him to tell them what to buy. Will it be JTV? He’d fit in well with the white trash hosts on that network. Will he end up at WOW? That’s starting to seem unlikely. WOW is blowing it out with Charla and I doubt his salary would be worth the slight increase in sales. I used to think that we’d see Invicta TV with Skelton as the host, but after telling Jill Sommerstein she should have twins and name one Holocaust, leaving her visibly upset, that is not going to happen either.

He’s hinting that something is going to happen. Maybe it will be live on Stickam from the couches of those still “caught up in his allure”

One things for sure, it’s funny how it’s come full circle and Temple has replaced an apparently fired Skelton and it makes this Michael “Fuckin” Davis post from December of 2008 even funnier:

Considering how and under what circumstances Tim left SNBC “back in the day”, I doubt that would be the last place he would show up. While he may be liked there by some of the old timers, I am willing to bet that there is still enough management around to remember how he left to go start up a direct competitor and took 3 or 4 of the most popular hosts with him.

I wish no one at JTV any ill will, but it is not looking good at the moment.

56 Responses to “Former ShopNBC Host Skelton Starts to Open Up”

  1. Lies All Lies!!! Says:

    I never doubted Skelton was forced to take the walk of shame out the SNBC door, but I am surprised he has not resurfaced beyond FB at this point. It’s obvious Eyal turned his back on him, I would bet Invicta’s next 4 pound TTV that Skelton’s termination was run past him at a minimum, most likely rubber stamped by him. I would have guessed Lior would have signed him by now, so either they have a contract with Charla or Lior wants no part of Skelton and his “magical sack of wonder”. Larry, Wing, and The Mink really cannot utilize him for much beyond designs, and wow the market is just demanding another rock bottom clearance Chinese Legend series, or another pile of Imperious non movers of Skelton originals.

    Empires did indeed fall Jim, you were right in that one.

  2. krane11367 Says:

    Yeah…right, Jim. The eternal victim whines on. Boo fucking hoo.

    Frankly, I guess I am of the minority, but not wholly; in April, a New York newspaper called Skelton’s departure from ShopNBC “addition by subtraction,” and I agree. To viewers like me, Skelton’s frat boy schtick was sub-public access garbage, not professional in the least; if QVC’s Lisa Robertson was criticized on the internet, do you think she’d make “coy” references about it on-air? Think she’d make comments about what people shove up their butts on the air? Even on ShopNBC, they’d follow up hosts like Heather Hall and Daniel Green with Lalo, Skelton, Davis, and Sommerstein, and it looked like the place was invaded by drunk townie bar bikers.

    However, as horrible as Skelton was, Michael Davis, Invicta’s “Technical Brand Manager” (hoo, boy), is that much worse. I’ll say it again: Who looks at this guy and says, “ THERE is the charismatic figure that will lead my company to greatness?” Eyal Lalo, that’s who, the guy who claimed this past weeked on air that a $198 SAN III had a case back equal to a $50,000 watch, and that their gold layering is the envy of the watch industry. These guys have their cons honed wonderfully – but one of these moments, they’re gonna push it just a bit too far, and thankfully, that will be that. It can’t come a moment too soon for one the watch company that continually gives the industry a giant black eye.

  3. Large Marge Says:

    Skelton was not forced to “take the walk of shame”, instead he was given a choice to eat Wing’s black bean bunghole, or have sex with Larry King, Skelton chose neither and was carefully escorted out of the building, leaving his “magical sack of wonder” behind.

    Skelton is also buying a home in Compton, where he will be the leader of the “watch crips”, who live in a fortified “watch crib”, surrounded by a moat filled with snapping turtles that resemble Tim Temple..ya heard!

    All of his followers on FB will feel the heat of his horny hemisphere’s of horology held together by his lust for his enormous eccentric evil ego.

    Remember “your time with Jim”?, they now renamed it..”no time with Jim”, and are now going to have a new show called “Ummmm Uhhhh”, followed by “Goldfingers with Stefano…ciaoooo beotchessss!

  4. Chief86 Says:


  5. koimaster Says:

    Good read. You correctly point out that the comments Skelton makes seem to be made in a deliberate attempt to remain in the spotlight and to placate his followers.

    He blamed Tim for a lot of things while they were both at shop. It did not work as Tim is still there and JS is not. My understanding is JS was released from his non-compete clause in his contract. If that is the case, he is living on buy-out, unemployment (?) and what, meager savings? He has car & bike payments, rent payment and from a post he recently made, moving costs.

    No matter where the scumbag lands, his time is done. He is no longer the “watch guy”. He is forever Corona Gorda and if he fails to keep his mouth shut, for libeling me on facebook, I will force him into bankruptcy. I know you read my forum skel and this blog. Read my lips, libel me again, say goodbye to everything you own. That is a promise from me to you.

    I will give your regards to Detective LaCrosse next week.

  6. Fuzzy Wabbit Says:

    I’m still waiting for these bombshells to start dropping as stated by Mike “Pour me another” Davis.

    Skelly keeps hinting that he will say something when he can about his next gig. I’d bet the farm, he will be able to say something, when he actually finds something. No one wants this douche, that’s the simple truth.

  7. Big Barge Says:

    Anyone who defends Jimzy probably doesn’t know the WHOLE truth, they are indeed little shills themselves, just not as big of a shill as obe won shillillsie himself.

    Krane makes a good point, Chief, well we all know Chief would eat Skelton’s soiled underoos after a night at Taco Bell and a cheap male prostitute.

    It don’t matter if TT is utterly boring and repetitive at times, or that MD makes us want to puke uncontrollably, the FACTS are the FACTS, Jimzy is gone goodbye, but will resurface at some point, then we can all take the piss out of him for his new endeavor whatever it will be and so on and so on.

    Just like the Rush song says..”show me don’t tell me”, his SMALL little minions that follow him won’t make a difference anyway, I personally will NOT be shocked wherever he lands, deserved or not, one thing I know, if he keeps on doing the same act, then another culmination like this one should soon follow.

    I would love to be the fly on the wall when all the MANY MANY MANY Invicta lovers have to get their watch repaired and receive the REVELATION that it will be repaired or not, if you GOT FUCKING 3 MONTHS TO WAIT!!!!, and if you fork up the dough to ship it, awwww Invicta, they say to their loyal fans, we got to send it to Switzerland, my balls!!, and try going to their Fla office, like FORT KNOXXXXXXXXXX, locked down, you cannot have a tour, fuck you customer, I betta be careful huh, MD is a 5th degree black belt, in bad hygiene!!!


  8. Horsetrack Says:

    Jim will be fine. I’ll put him up at my home in Florida. He can spend his time at “my pool” while I am away on “vacation” with my fake watches (oops, did I say that). Gotta go do a filling now, bye for now…

    HT Approved

  9. Chief86 Says:

    Hey HT,at ease you poser maggot !

    And stay away from Jimmy you bitch!

    At ease private .

    Chief OUT !

  10. tony Says:

    Hi Guys, I just checked, and Jim’s name now shows up under the “Select Host” option. Is he coming back to shopnbc?

  11. Prickle Says:

    Tony is correct!!!!!!

    His name is back on the host drop down list, holy crap.

    Hey Jim, since you monitor this blog, how did you do this little miracle?, awww who gives a shit anyway, your not a celebrity, just a crusty salesman with a weak jaw and a loud mouth.

    Shopnbc must be even more desperate than while you were there.

    But I have to say, no matter how many watch sales you have generated at the Shop, the offensive words you said to Jill you should be walking around without your teeth!

    Obviously Jill’s husband is a pushover or didn’t find your comments offensive.

    How was the Thanksgiving dinner with Tim and his wife?, did you eat her cranberry sauce?

    Looks like Nbc sucks major cock and will do anything for a buck, but they sure know how to screw their customers over by only randomly checking their returned watches, and then sending defective returned watches to customers as brand new, ohhhh well, looks like the crappy shirts and big mouth is coming back…what a fuckin soap opera

  12. Norm Klevens Says:

    You are absolutely correct. Jim was funny, knowledgeable about the watches and I bought 81 in two years. Timmy is – “I love what you guys have done” Daniel is okay, but does not have the same spark. Their prices are not better than most anymore – 1 or 2 good ones on a 2 hour block. One good show with Ayel on thee last weekend; I bought just one, but the deals were like they were. I took Shop off my Direct TV favorites. Knowing Jim, when they announced a new strategy he was not quiet about it.

  13. creepylabeef Says:

    Wow! If someone had to buy 81 watches in two years the things must be total pieces of shit? Did they break every 10 days or so? Or do people extend the band and wear them up and down their arms & legs to look like a robot? I still use the same watch I got for Christmas in ’95 and it still keeps prefect time, why would anyone need more than one?

  14. Prickle Says:


    Now your name is NO LONGER on the host drop down list, and your June show is gone too!!

    First this guy leaves Nbc, then he is still on the product videos, and he takes credit for the photos of the Deep Blue watches when he is NO LONGER employed there!!

    This is AMAZING!!

    What a unreal soap opera this is, I mean the up and down roller coaster in the J.S. fun house is some fucking ride!!

    YOU CAN’T make this shit up if you tried yall!!

    Too bad, I would of loved to watch you on JTV at 3am after 2 hours of crappy gemstones for a dollar fifty.

    On JTV selling Michael Kors watches, or Hush Puppies, I doubt very much you will be selling any watches by Ulysse Nardin, or MB&F, or Panerai, or no no no, or even no no..I wouldn’t buy a flapjack from JTV if it came with a free winning lottery ticket!!

    Jesus Mary and St. Joseph!!

    Skelton, I used to like you when you first started at the shop, and I do admit you do possess the most knowledge on watches than the other hosts, but your demeanor and attitude changed through the years, and nbc followed suit by going from the greats like Chase Durer to ED FUCKING Hardy, I can go on and on, but my wife just came home and I have a chubby.

  15. Skip Says:

    Where did Skip go?
    His picture has vanished from the Hosts page, but is still clickable where his picture used to be.

    Same thing happened when JS left.

  16. guano bat Says:

    Quote: One things for sure, it’s funny how it’s come full circle and Temple has replaced an apparently fired Skelton and it makes this Michael “Fuckin” Davis post from December of 2008 even funnier:

    Considering how and under what circumstances Tim left SNBC “back in the day”, I doubt that would be the last place he would show up. While he may be liked there by some of the old timers, I am willing to bet that there is still enough management around to remember how he left to go start up a direct competitor and took 3 or 4 of the most popular hosts with him.

    I wish no one at JTV any ill will, but it is not looking good at the moment.

    Wrong, Davis. Maybe you’ve learned the truth by now. Temple didn’t “take” anyone with him. They went voluntarily. Those hosts left SNBC in an honorable way to become employees at a new company. No ownership by any of them.

  17. guano bat Says:

    None of this is firsthand info. Skelton was fired. There have been leaks about that one. All say he was fired outright and immediately escorted out the door and to his car. The production crew broke into cheers.

    Many have commented Skelton never looked at Temple when they were in the studio or out socializing.

    And yes, people caught Skelton trying to sabotage Temple’s time on air to make him look bad. Word is Temple took the high road.

  18. guano bat Says:

    Oh, and I’ve never heard that Skelton and Temple ever had “run-ins.”

    Word is Skelton kept as far away from Temple as possible, even when pulling dirty tricks, and T did nothing to escalate anything.

    The only exception was that first Thanksgiving Temple was back at Shop. I bet there’s a story behind that Thanksgiving meal — maybe very different from how Skelton tells it.

    Have others heard stories to the contrary?

  19. betterskills Says:

    The run-in’s occurred when Temple was originally fired by SNBC and still living in Minnesota.

  20. betterskills Says:

    I was roundly and publically denounced by Skelton on a few of his shows for suggesting that the production staff didn’t like him. To me it was obvious as they would routinely sabotage the shots and not follow his direction which resulted in his chastising the staff on the air.

  21. guano bat Says:

    Betterskills: The run-in’s occurred when Temple was originally fired by SNBC and still living in Minnesota.

    Wow. What happened? Any stories or details?

  22. betterskills Says:

    Supposedly they ran into each other at the theater and a second time at at a bar/restaurant in Minneapolis when Temple’s attempt to gain more control over product during contract negotiations was met with a pink slip. At the first meeting, Skelton snubbed Temple who was attempting to congratulate him. The second run-in had Skelton ridiculing and humiliating Temple.

    Skelton has tried to play this off and has recently stated that he made the most effort to welcome Temple back. But that conflicts with Temple’s tone in his return announcement.

  23. Twat Waffles Says:

    I just bought a watch from shopnbc and when I opened up the box there was a half eaten ham n swiss and a rotten twinkie.

    Called nbc and told them that they sent me a rotted lunch instead of a a watch, they had the nerve to say to me sorry, we forgot the stale fruit cup.

    So I spoke to the ceo today and he said he would call me back next week because he had a ceramic dildo stuck in his rectum.

    I’m gonna call the better business bureau and I am writing a letter to oprah winfry’s cosin ralo!!

  24. betterskills Says:

    This is the funniest comment I have ever received – and it starts with Twat Waffle.

  25. Twat Waffles Says:

    I just received an email reply to my watch/lunch situation from nbc.

    So, I am going to share it with all the watch enthusiasts.

    ***Dear Twat Waffles, hope you are doing well.

    Shopnbc has a QC department that checks the merchandise after an order is placed, even if the order contains fries w/brown gravy.

    Your watch purchase was checked by Ronald McDonald, he is our QC assistant manager and loves to wear a clown outfit..honk honk

    Your order did not contain the watch you ordered because we sell a lot of grey market timepieces, and our operator that took your order assumed you would like a twinkie and a ham n swiss instead, she’s a psychic operator.

    Rest assure Twat Waffles, we take pride in packing a lunch, and we take even more pride in fudge packing.

    Shopnbc is a proud company, we are crossing our dirty fingers in hopes that you will not seek legal recourse against us, but hope instead that you were hungry at the time you opened your watch box.

    Please accept our most sincere apology, we are dreadfully regretful for our business practices, and as a courtesy to you for being a super duper customer, we are mailing you a 15% coupon for our “ala carte” menu, please take notice our new menu now includes the following watch/meal deals:

    A1- Broken Invicta and a cheese steak w/onion rings

    A2- Sushi for 3 in an Invicta Divers case, spam sushi add $1.50

    A3- M. Davis mexi-melt with malt whisky soup and a Corduba salad

    A4- Daniel Green tea biscuits and J.S. jaw jam, with a generous bracelet w/swiss gold layered parsnips.

    A5- Baked Lalo served with piping hot egg foo young and a used, barely working, deep fried Sea Hunter, Dubois Depraz dressing please add $1.00

    Thanks again Twat Waffles, I hope you take full advantage of our awesome deals!!!

    I must go now, my boss needs me to get the petroleum, he can’t sleep with that ceramic dildo in his rectum, hope I don’t pull out a corn or some undigested peas.

    cheers!, shopnbc action team***

  26. Anonymous Says:

    Twat Waffle, I thank you, the Worldside Watch World thanks you, and the Stratosphere thanks you! Lovely, lovely, lovely.

    More boring – Betterskills, the way it was told 2 me back then was Temple and some other Shop NBC hosts were offered jobs at start-up WSS, was that the name. They checked it out and some went over there (both in Mpls/st paul area) after being professional with Shop NBC. No pink slips. Lemme no if u have other info.

  27. Twat Waffles Says:

    Don’t look now, but Nbc is holding try outs if you think you have what it takes to become a SlopNbc on air host.

    I have a 6 octave vocal range…Hmmm…and I love watches…Hmmm…I know how to perform in front of a camera with a large audience…Hmmm…I can break down the small details of a timepiece in a NON REPETITIVE NON BORING manor…Hmmm…My wife is sexy and makes me happy…Hmmm…I have a good job already…Hmmm…Telling the truth is paramount to me…OOoops…well I guess that last part doesn’t get me the damn job!!!

  28. Carson C. Silver Says:

    Good luck Tim with invicta watches on shopNBC

  29. Anonymous Says:

    JIM Is with Watch World TV with Leor .JIM was a butthole of a host TIM TEMPLE is and was always more informed of all watchbrands and brought some big name watches to SHOPNBC.MUCH BETTER HOST FOR the watches.glad JIM IS GONE HE WAS A SILLY MAN.

  30. Jack Tilton Says:

    Skelton has no one to blame but himself, he’s arrogant and a classic narcisistic ahole. To hear him tell it he must have between 500 to 1000 watches. Everything he has or does is the best and I wish he had been fired much sooner. I don’t know where he will end up but it won’t be a major. Jim will probably end up selling sex toys on some lowlife cable show because he is horrible with watches because the first thing he says is I have all these and you should get this one. I don’t think he has much of anything just wore the displays. Good riddence

  31. Says:

    By the way Mr. Jack Tilton, Jimblo is selling watches for Lior these days in case you don’t know.

    So if your in the mood for a Chinese Abyssos, or you might fancy one of their 409 variations of the Neptune, or you might want a Scubador or maybe your an Invicta guy, either way our Chinese watches have zero msg.

    You ring we bring

    You’ll know why after you try

    Free crab rangoon’s for every Rotary

    We deliver!

    We use only 100% peanut oil

    Jim works with Charla and co and a bunch of people who have this wining tone built in to their speaking voices.

    Awwww fuck it! I gotta go, Acorn TV is about to start and I can’t wait to see Larry and his quaff.

  32. Action Jackson Says:

    Wouldn’t it be awesome if Neca or Kenner made Invicta and Shopnbc action figures???

    Enjoy a preview of some of the possibilities:

    Action Lalo – with his Subaqua Noma that can morph into an underwater Invicta submarine for fast escape from his enemies who know what Swiss Made means, look for the Invicta Pavillion set complete with set props so you too can have a 10 day marathon of shitty watches and bullshit sales techniques with your gullible friends!

    Action Davis – By day he’s Invicta’s technical brand manager, by night he’s Super Hobo, able to turn water into muskatel, black belt Davis sold separately, navy seal Davis comes with forged papers!

    Action Ryan – A loyal Invicta minion able to charm enemies with his savvy Invicta knowledge, when agitated he pulls sausages out of his plastic asshole and uses them as spicy weapons, action Ryan comes with a vast wardrobe and black pepper to give him a 5 0clock shadow, look for Fire Island Ryan soon complete with closet!

    Action Temple – the host with the most scrabble words, when he’s not selling watches he’s talking music, when he engages his enemies he uses special sales tactics to confuse their objective, look for Keyboard playin Tim and Basel Tim complete with glasses and TT cuffs so you too can feel important when your certainly not!

    Action Skelton – With removable jaw! he can sell cigars he can sell watches, but he can also thwart enemies with his super cool tattoo’s, when agitated he turns into a Koi fish, press his glasses and watch him put his foot in his mouth, look for burn bridges Skelton and the very rare and collectible Worldofwatches action set complete with Charla and the has been’s nobody knows!

    **action figures sold separately**

    Disclaimer: We are not responsible for the infinite embarrassment caused by these toys, owner is responsible for shipping if defective and please allow 3 months as it will be going to Switzerland for repair.

  33. Bichon Daddy Says:

    Lotta little Girl crying here you need to have mommy change your Diaper

  34. Action Jackson Says:

    Whomever rates a thumb down has either got zero sense of humor or your one of those people who own a gazillion television watches from Hong Kong watch co & noodle factory.

  35. betterskills Says:

    Larry, Larry, Larry, you fat fuck.

    I see you locked down your lame ass site. Why? Is it really that important to shield all 14 members? You pussy.

    You should spend more time trying to get people to it than creeping around here and leaving comments that lack an understanding of English grammar and punctuation. You just make yourself look stupid. Since many at WL subscribe to these comments, I’m sure someone will post it over there to expose your idiocy to an even wider audience.

    Good job, dick breath!

  36. LoveMyNuts Says:

    Look out now, it’s the JT line from Invicta.

    Love how unbelievably transparent Allison Waggoner is as she spews garbage the other night, she rarely make sense and doesn’t even think before she speaks. She adds things in on the fly to try make herself look informative on timepieces, just awful.

    Next spring it will be the Invicta Warren Sapp collection.

    Allison, please shut the fuck up and let the men talk so we can laugh at them without hearing your long winded garbage muffling our comedy known as Invicta and ShopNbc.

    Look at JT, he’s like gotta feel real important having these tribbles gawk all over him cause he added carbon fiber and a red cable to an already existing line.


    Somehow I don’t see JT being a guest on Acorn Tv, then again, bird excrement on a Ritz sounds better than listening to chees-ass Davis After Dark, hmmmm DAD?

    I thought Davis After Dark was a show about his colon, I dunno.

  37. Bitchin Bichon Says:

    I guess Bichon Daddy likes his cheeseburgers and his shitty watch collection a little too much.

    He probably is on a first name basis with the Lalo, he probably calls him Abe.

    Hey Larry, I would bet you also have a bunch of Seagull movements too, and actually wear them.

    I bet you wish chefboyardee was your neighbor.


  38. Casual observer Says:

    Not for nothing, but all of your Shop & Inv haters seem to do nothing but watch Inv on Shop and bitch and moan. Surely y’all do other things with you’re lives, right?

  39. Blow My Meatpole Says:

    Hey casual observer, in case you didn’t know, we watch because it’s so god damn funny and transparent and super duper cheesy!!

    Hey, as soon as you buy an Invicta, you already lost money.

    Nobody with a brain that collects watches thinks there’s any value or street value owning one, that’s why Lalo can sell Valjoux’s for cheap cause he can make it up in volume on other watches, you stupid moron!

    And by the way, Swiss Made don’t mean jack shit because which 51% of the watch is really Swiss Made? you fool!!

    Why don’t you try a Jean Marcel, I think Rick Kalina needs the $$ really badly, or try a Renato, either way you will get laughed at wearing either of em.

    Keep enjoying your Invicta’s, you must be a sanitation worker cause you have an eye for elite garbage!

  40. Anonymous Says:

    ha u guys are crazy

  41. krane11367 Says:

    Wow, it’s been a couple of years, and I’m still laughing at Twat Waffles’ posts – and Fat Larry’s awesome, otherworldly, cretinous stupidity. And yet, the Invicta train keeps rolling on, finding new marks to BS. Few automatics anymore, cuz mean old Swatch won’t sell to shit brands, which leads Lalo and his pasty gray mouthpiece to insist that ETA 2824s are “rare.”

    And the rubes still fall for it. In 2013, no less.

  42. Twat Waffles Says:

    Krane, Eyal could always suck Selitta’s cock, right?

    It’s a quartz Incrapta fiesta at the grotto tonight!!!!

    Grab your credit card and value pay til the cows come home, or Michael Davis admits he’s really the Invicta Scam Manager.

    Temple is so funny as he really tries to sell that crap, speaking of crap, I heard Invicta fans can’t see color, and many of them have a Jamal Anderson’s autographed ball that came with the spiced ham sandwich from cell block C.

    2824-2 RARE??? Why this overstated 25 jewel standard grade movement is so rare which is why I see em everywhere lolol.

    Swatch knows marketing and business should I say, get an in-house movement and be even happier.

    To all you Invicta fans, I have the follwowing statement:

    In a galaxy, far far away…
    lived a watch company called Invicta. They sold reputable well built timepieces that people like your great grandpappy would be proud to own on the prairie. Then many, many yrs later the dark side gave birth to Darth Lalo!!! Lalo was born with a special evil power, and conceived under the sign of The Horology Deceiver. Lalo would gather trusts from the masses through a Swinese Made guise that convinced the home shopping universe that his time telling trinkets and colorful plastic boxes were of supreme value and very collectible. His forked taint pasted tongue would be his biggest asset, as he turned stainless steel and fake sandstone into power and wealth!! His minions at the Fake Factory Planet Florida bought into the Invicta lifestyle and bled yellow for their pitch preaching overlord. Many faces and souls have been taken by Dark Lalo, as he would gather more power in the television universe. along came Jim Maul, another minion from the same ilk, a daring and self sabotaging loon of self indulgence. Darth Lalo and Jim Maul would make up the dynamic duo of questionable watch wares leading Invicta into the stratosphere of stench!!! It was during this time Jim Maul was straying from the pack, and suffering from foot in mouth disease syndrome. Darth Lalo knew his crusty creation was headed for disaster, so he scurried and stumbled without recognizing his own shameful acts and shill-like behavior. After Maul’s retreat to Obi Won Schmuel-obi, a chubby little man with red boxes of shitstained watches, came a turning point for The Rebels. The veil of lies was starting to open and show light. Many watch hands fell off during live presentations, personal attacks to Rebel Koi on live tv, quartz Imperial engines would stutter for the camera, there were Invicta double agents called Invicta-Del Tempo’s. Eyal was still racking in the power, but there was many turbulent changes abound against his dark forces. As the moons changed colors Invicta Imperial slaves were starting to see the light. Jim Maul went after Jill on live tv, while the Captain of the Temple landed his ship and docked it in Florida bay #234/5000 😉 which is a limited edition fighter pilot parking spot that comes with a 8 slot dive box. The rebels were starting to gain the advantage as Dubois Depraz and Betterskills and Koi and people with fucking brains in their heads started to push the fight to them!! Today, we are in limbo as the battle ensues on a different front. Princess Klopefor is quickly trying to save the dark side from total failure, but in the rebel’s view…FUTILE!!!! We can only hope and pray that these fiends find their way to a hellish doom where they are forever suspended in animation with their mass produced poorly crafted misrepresented trinkets all over them like an infinite soul chain shackled to them like Ebineezer Scrooge.

    The Rebels will never stop the fight…

    Or waiver in the cause.

    *okay start the space music*


  43. SpringLock Says:

    wowwww!! Twattie, a little long but very funny hahahahaha

    i will never look at star wars the same again, “taint pasted tongue” PAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

  44. Prince Harry Clit Says:

    I have 107 Invictas
    I love them dearly.

    Leave them alone you unscrupulous bastards and bitches.

    It’s well worth the 4-6 month wait for repairs, and the 4-8 week customer service email/phone response time to the customer.

    Dammit people!!! If Mike Davis says it’s collectible, and ultra cool and 7750’s are so RARE that’s alright by me, gee willekers y’uall.

    Many horological experts have agreed the Valjoux 7750 is the scarcest THING on the planet, ESPECIALLY one with a meteorite on the dial!!!!!!

    I’m reading these posts about Mr. Davis jerking his strudel noodle in the ShopHq bathroom watching another host defecate fecal matter? Unreal! Unbelievable!!

    …And leave him alone if he smells like stale grape nuts and whiskey laden egg nog and his face looks like Bisquik ball batter.

    My god, I tuned in last night FOR PURE LAUGHS and Tim, Tim you fake, you transparent mule, if Invicta made a limited edition rose gold bonded at the molecular level 53 piece shiny yellow dildo, you’d be sitting on that daily you fucking turtle faced snail!!! My god everybody, Temple handles the most coveted scarce and collectible watches in mankind, and my gosh golly gee, Invicta is a Red Dot achiever too!!!

    Look at their designs and prices and exclusivity, look at how they inflate their MSRP’s like Richard Simmons on his boyfriends balloon knot.

    Look at how Lalo represents his company, listen to the devil speak to his CAPTIVE audience…


  45. Dingle Bell Rock Says:

    Here Comes Santa Davis

    Here comes Santa Davis,
    Here comes Santa Davis,
    Right down ShopHq lane
    Temple and Ryan and all his Village People
    Pulling on Eyal’s main vein.
    Wallets are emptying’, children singing’,
    Jill’s asshole is so tight.
    So store your Invicta’s and say your prayer,
    ‘Cause Santa Davis cums tonight.

    Here cums Santa Davis,
    Here cums Santa Davis,
    Right down ripple lane
    He’s got a bag that’s filled with broken watches
    For the boys and girls again.
    Hear those sleigh bells jingle jangle,
    Oh he’s drunk again this Navy Seal loves to fight
    So jump in bed, and cover your head,
    ‘Cause Santa Davis cums tonight.

    Here comes Santa Davis,
    Here comes Santa Davis,
    Right down Boone County lane
    He’ll cum on his pants when Kendy shits her pants,
    It’s Christmas for winos again.
    Peace on earth will come to all,
    If sheeple just follow the yellow light,
    So let’s give thanks to the lord Eyal
    ‘Cause Santa Davis cums tonight.


  46. I am ashamed to be a watch collector after reading all the junk on most blogs. Most of you people can’t conduct a decent argument without mudslinging, name calling, cussing or relating all things to sex. I am a 60 year old male that collects Invictas (okay, let the insults begin) and damn proud of it. I left the Amazon Invicta blog because of the insane, non logical insults. Why don’t all of you grow up and start to act civilized.

  47. Jonny Thunders Says:

    That fat ex con who served 5 years of a 25 year prison sentence for an armed robbery got fired too..

  48. Bubba Says:

    I understand Mike Davis’s former cell mate is writing an unauthorized as biography about Mike and their 5 years together in an 8×10 prison cell in Ohio, and it ain’t about watches!. There’s no punch line here. If it’s true, it’s funnier thank any joke I could make up.

  49. I guess all you folks who lead perfect lives love to continually trash Mike Davis. I pray that you never face adversity for you and your loved ones. Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts given to us by our creator (if you believe in one). You ought to try practicing it.

  50. betterskills Says:

    To bing a bowling alley is not adversity. Being a complete prick as an owner / administrator on a messageboard and then having those that you maligned and ridiculed is not adversity.

  51. TwatWaffles Says:

    David Bonhomme GO HOME!

  52. Thanks for the suggestion. I am already at home. By the way, how do you like your waffles. I hate the thick fluffy kind. I really prefer the old fashion kind that are thin and a bit crispy, like at Waffle House.

  53. Anonymous Says:

    Twat Waffles, you’re a dick

  54. Twat Waffles Says:

    Anonymous, is that what your mommie named you at birth?

    You half a fag!

    You must be the IDIOT over at Homeshoppingista that gets his Invicta’s appraised.

    Enjoy your wrist hubcap you swine!

    While your at it let me shit a taco salad down your scrawny throat BEOTCH!

    Anonymous, hahahah what a dickwad!

  55. Dave Bonhomme Says:

    You sir is all that is wrong with the internet. You sit in a dark room with your keyboard as your only friend and sling mud, use bad language and are clearly homophobic. I really feel sorry for you.

  56. Twat Waffles Says:

    Dear David (cock breath) Bonhomme,

    I do not hide anywhere, as it’s awfully difficult to hide being 6′ 6″ 370 lbs.

    I’m not homophobic as I have many gay friends, after all nobody can help the way their born.

    When I call you a fag it’s like me saying your a complete and utter pussy! So let’s not be literal you FAGGOT!!

    I’ve seen the movie ET and I know the part of the movie where he says “ET Bone Homme”, guess he was calling you so you can come back from the planet you live on because it’s not earth my friend.

    I bet David Bonhomme is an Evinelive fanboy.

    He adores his Waterford crystal, his crappy Cozelle bed sheets and most of all his huge collection of shitstained watches from Invicta, which in Latin means “To Lie To Dumbasses Like David Bonhomme”.

    David I do not hide, instead what I do is make fun of DIMWITS like yourself and Invicta and Jim “trapjaw” Skelton, it seems I’ve hit a nerve haven’t I???

    I would love to take a gander at your watch collection, probably got a Hyperdrive nestled in there next to a SL Neptune and an Elini…LMAOOOOOO!

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